I was released from a PA State Correctional Facility in July 2020, after spending 10 years (of a 6-18 year sentence) locked up. I’m classified as an SVP with lifetime registration. Banned from the county that I lived in my entire life, and where my support group is located, I am living one county west, Shortly after my release, I approached an LGBT organization that I was interested in being active in. I was completely up front about my past to the President of this organization. She told me that she would not be comfortable with me volunteering due to my past and a lot of their programs are geared around LGBT youth. I understood her position and went on my way. I still participated in LGBT events that did not involve youth, but always felt uncomfortable around her. There is another LGBT group in our area, that was willing to allow me to volunteer, as long as I kept…
I am afraid, not just that the books I’ve written may not be well received. The whole idea my work may be unfairly judged once my name is added to the registry in 2026, that scares me the most. But people want us to be afraid; it gives them power. But when one of us chooses to live out loud, be seen doing the right things, it disarms them. Being afraid doesn’t mean you quit fighting. But unfortunately, hated for the artist often becomes hatred for the art. This was the risk I was taking by selfishly or perhaps arrogantly slathering my name across two covers. I insisted that I did the work, I wanted the credit, deserved it just like someone who didn’t break the law. But was that my first mistake? Was publishing? My first book, “Destination Unknown,” was originally penned in 2015 after I took an advertising class taught by a former ad exec. It showed me…
By Matt The poem came to me in a rush during one of those darkest moments of despairs. From them, I gained strength to cope, to reach out to other registrants and step up to speak out against the tyranny. Brothers and Sisters in Pain What did I do to deserve a life of pain and fear?My motive rejected, judged my behavior a crime.Stunned at the devastating repercussions of my action.The act complete, my destiny sealed, my life shattered. The impact crushed my identity, an annihilation of my worth.The alarming, unreal raid, a SWAT team brandishing assault rifles.Or a startling summon to appear before a biased, hardened judge.My life ending, my family, friends, church condemning. My reality, years of painful isolation, penetrating shame.Alone, I mulled over and over again the “what ifs,” “if onlys”I despise their labeling me as leper, sinner … condemned.I even visualize the tattooed “Scarlet Letter” across my foreheads. After punishment ends, endless traumatic troubles begin.With no…
By J . . . We all carry captivity with us. Captivity isn’t a thing or a place its an internal culmination of experience. Its something that sticks to you. Its like a bad smell. Or a strong ink. From that first time when they grab you. You hear the cop breathe heavy. You hear that metal ratchet of the cuffs locking down. You can feel them bite into your skin and the officer tighten their grip on you. You can feel the anger as they walk you down the hall. That horrible clang as the doors slam shut behind you. That cold sick drop in your throat as you realize the other inmates will be waiting to figure out who you and that secret that makes your heart thump your chest cavity. That secret of who you are deep down. The things you did. That fear that painful fear sticks with you.The amount of despair and impatience you feel…
By Keif . . . I’ve been visiting this site off and on since not long after my conviction in 2013. I always thought about submitting my story but never did because I felt guilty that my journey hasn’t been as much of a struggle as others and it seemed unfair to share. I realize that guilt was just a fear of sharing that I needed to face and I truly believe we can learn something from everyone’s journey. I was charged with and plead guilty to two counts of second degree rape for an inappropriate relationship with a minor. I have three children and the victim was only a year older than my oldest child. I was (and still am) married to my high school sweetheart. I essentially had a mental breakdown due to what I found out later was untreated postpartum depression and PTSD. At the time I committed my crime, I hadn’t eaten proper food in two…
By Scott . . . Valentine’s Day. A day to show our love for those who are special to us. Not just our spouses and or the person we are dating, but also it is a time to show our friends that they are special to us. For me, Valentine’s Day has a double celebration. It happens to be my anniversary my wedding anniversary. We have a group of friends that we socialize with regularly. But there are six men, six friends, that I consider our core friends. These are people who know us pretty well and we know them pretty well. We’ve shared meals in each other homes, we’ve gone out to dinner with them, and we’ve gone to civic celebrations with them. ArtFest, October Fest, and other events. We also hang out at the “club” for Taco Tuesdays and Sunday Fun Day. Although, Bobbey and I don’t go as often as our other friends. For Valentine’s day, well…
By JS . . . Long story short: My arrest date was 1986, assault with the intent to commit forceable rape. Ultimately, convicted during the second trial and sent to prison on circumstantial evidence. Upon my release date from prison in 1992. I went on to succeed and thrive in business. I was in middle management with a fortune 10 company and was repeatedly awarded and recognized for outstanding achievements and leadership. I accomplished immediate and immense success in business, got married to a top real estate agent and we enjoyed an amazing lifestyle residing in a beautiful master planned, gated, golf community. We were building a real estate portfolio and businesses, and life was good. Then the 2008 housing crash materialized the perfect storm. Real estate and my business was abysmal, as it all started to unravel. My attempts to apply for employment from my previous employers were rejected. The very same employers where i once thrived and was…
By Jason . . . I’m writing this letter because I do care about the safety and welfare of children not spreading hate and fear and I believe no one is above the law. The information in this letter WILL educate and arm new parents on who is going to hurt your kid and expose an underground illegal entrapment sting that the police have been doing for decades. Please understand that I’m not against the police like everyone else. I think we need laws in society. I’m against police vigilantism and police assisted suicide which I was a victim of 20 years ago and still am today. I’m a 44 year old married man and yes, I am a level one sex offender because I did have a sexual encounter with a minor 20 years ago. I’m 100% wrong for taking advantage and understand there was no excuse for what I did, but there is an explanation. She was my…
By John . . . At the end of 14 years and part of 15, I had done some of what was done to me, having grown up in a domestically abusive house. My older siblings subjected me to it. It was all I knew or even thought normal, like it meant you were developing and growing up. I turned my own self in. I trusted the “system” and government. Even my parents now regret that ever happening, narcissists who shrug it off like “How could we know (that was going to happen)?”.The state ran tests through a local hospital, and what we would find out over a decade later, they withheld from me a congenital neurological defect that is extremely rare. The nurse came in and said “Oh, you just have a small harmless optic nerve cyst”. The neurological defect from birth, impossible to miss, is on the 4th ventricle of my brain stem. I knew as a teenager…
By Uncle Jack . . . My story is not typical, since I was retired with a pension when I was charged. So, money or a place to live was not an issue. Traveling, especially outside the US has been a crazy experience other people would not believe. However, my issue here is “volunteer work.” Before being on the SOR, I used to volunteer for Meals on Wheels, Habitat for Humanity and a few others. My state’s restrictions against SOR’s says you must notify organizations, where you volunteer, of your SOR status. Not wanting to tell people all about my situation, I simply quit volunteering. Simple. To do volunteer work without telling the organization could be a felony. So, what experiences have other SOR’s had in this regard?
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