Not Knowing if He’s Dead or Alive

originally posted 4/8/2009

For those of you who aren’t aware, our son, A., went missing three months ago now. He was serving a five-year probationary plea and didn’t even make it through the first year, today, in fact, being one year since his release from jail. We’ve had no word of his whereabouts and have mixed emotions, as I’m sure you can understand.

Do we try to find him and bring him back to this mess? Or, and we have no choice but to do the latter, do we just pray for his safety and the chance at some sort of life for him elsewhere?

His picture was in the paper here (in our small community, so it spread like wildfire) Saturday, under Most Wanted – nice, smiling picture of our beautiful, clean-cut son, and the caption reading Abuse II – two new counts.

I went to the courthouse today and accessed the Judicial Information Network computer to see if I could find out what the “two new counts” were. Nothing new, just a motion to show cause and an order to show cause why he’s not reporting to probation. These are not considered new counts. The clerk confirmed these were not new counts and told me to check with the DA’s office, which I did. Same thing, no, no new counts.

I then went to the newspaper and asked them where they got their information. The guy who looked at it said, “Oh, that poor kid,” and I told him, ‘Yeah, passed polygraphs, tons of information proving his innocence and here we are.” They couldn’t believe it. They said they get their information directly from the probation office, but I will not call them. If they’re thinking they’ve got charges and they don’t, let them think that.

They will eventually when he doesn’t respond to the order to show cause, but they made it look like he had two new sex abuse counts, and we’re sure this was no accident. Their egos are bruised because they can’t find him. No regard for how sick we’re feeling not knowing whether he’s dead or alive.

Just wanted to pass this on. Could use your prayers, still and always.

One Comment

  1. originally posted shortly after above article was posted

    Please see that this mother gets this. Thank you.

    My heart goes out to you after reading about your son disappearing. I know in part how you are feeling. My husband left over 5 months ago and I haven’t seen him since. He did contact me about 5 weeks after he left and we’ve been talking on the phone ever since. Currently I’m only able to hear from him about once a week but at least I know he’s o.k. I do not know where he is and I would not know how to contact him in case of an emergency. He had all the harassment he could take and convinced himself I would be better off after hearing rumors that “we were going to be burned out”. I would like to be able to tell you that it gets better with time but I truly can’t. I will say though, that finding the RSOL website was truly an answer to prayer. And yes, the authorities like to make everything sound as bad as possible. So by someone leaving, they try to make it sound like a new sex offense charge. And I know all about a local newspaper broadcasting bad news on their front page.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope your son will soon let you know that he is o.k.

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