Life is What you Make of it

By Victor…

I served a little over two years in federal prison for three separate sex offenses. Most of my poor choices were related to viewing child pornography. It was a long-term addiction I suffered through for about 20 years before I was finally taken down by an FBI sting. In a way, it was a huge relief to finally be caught because now I knew this sad part of my life was over. What I didn’t know was how incredibly difficult life was going to be from that point on. I was on active duty with the Air National Guard as an officer and had served close to 30 years in the Air Force, although not all of it was active duty. I threw away a wonderful career and destroyed my family. That was over seven years ago.

As a military veteran I am very thankful for the help I received from the Dept of Veterans Affairs (the VA). I realized close to the end of my halfway house stay that I had no job, no place to live, and really no way to survive. I had heard about initiatives that are in place to end veteran homelessness so I visited the downtown Baltimore VA office that dealt with veteran homelessness and was referred to a shelter in Elkton, MD that allowed registered citizens to reside there. Most of the shelters they could have referred me to don’t allow registered citizens. I also had one family (husband/wife) who stuck with me throughout my incarceration and actually gave me a car and drove it from Colorado to Washington, DC for me! I am forever grateful to them and remain in touch with them today. My wife has also been supportive of me although we will divorce at some point in the near future. It will be on amicable terms. In spite of the pain and suffering that I caused my family, she still provided a great deal of support and I will always be grateful for that. Without these two families, I would have had a much more difficult time trying to make it after prison.

Once I arrived at the shelter in Elkton, I was greeted by a very generous and wonderful man who was the director at the time. He displayed great compassion and treated me with dignity and respect. I felt accepted and relieved. The shelter itself is very old and crammed full with 14 other men, most of whom are military veterans, but not all. The shelter falls under the auspices of a non-profit organization in Cecil County called Meeting Ground, Inc. Meeting Ground also runs a day center and a women’s shelter. I lived in the men’s shelter for 8 months until I was on my feet and could afford to move out on my own.

I spent almost all of my time at the local jobs center where the staff there got to know me very well. It was during this time that it became crystal clear to me that my working life would never be the same again. There would be no more comfortable government jobs with full benefits. I went through a state-sponsored program to become a certified project management professional, but unfortunately, the credential, as valuable as it was, was totally useless to me. It was disheartening. However, because I had shown my determination to get a job, the job center manager approached me one day with an offer as a clerk at a construction company. I gladly accepted the position and started in July of 2015. I worked at that job for 26 months before it dried up. That’s what happens in construction – you work yourself out of a job, at least in the industrial construction sector. I then went to work temporarily for the client at the same job site for almost 5 months. After that I was laid off and then began the same struggle all over from three years before while looking for another job. I thought well it’s been over five years now since my conviction, maybe that will help in my new job search. It did not. I had numerous fantastic job interviews and some wonderful job offers – until they did the background check. Then suddenly I was a pariah – and kicked to the street. Eventually, I contacted the same man I had first met in Elkton, the former director of the men’s shelter, because he had been after me for at least two years to come work for him. He’s my employer today and it has come full circle for me.

In all of this, even back to the beginning of my incarceration, my religious faith has gotten me through all of this. Yes, there have been many people who have helped too, but it is God that I thank every day for what I have today. I no longer have that comfortable, free-spending life I once had, but I am ok. I am living on the outside [of prison], I have a home, I have a car, I have a job, I am in good health and life in Maryland is pretty good for a registered citizen, in my experience. I even have the right to vote here which is a rarity for a felon. There are no residency restrictions here either. Maryland is not where I plan to spend the rest of my life, but for now, this state has been very good to me and I’m getting by ok.

I also became an active board member of Meeting Ground. In 2016, I was approached by the Executive Director and asked to join the board since they wanted a veteran rep. I was glad to join and give back to the organization that helped me so much. I served two years of a three year term and resigned due to irreconcilable differences I had with the board president although this was not related to my criminal status. A year later, I rejoined the board at their invitation and am a member today. Meeting Ground has given me an important purpose and has helped me to become a part of my community.

I went through group therapy sessions every week for 4 ½ years and finally completed that requirement last Fall. I still see my therapist individually once a month but that will eventually come to an end as well. Therapy was incredibly helpful to me and I fully participated. I have a great relationship with my probation officer and he gives me a lot of latitude. I don’t like the fact that I have a 10 year term of supervised release and am only half way through today, but I try not to let it get me down. I still have to take those incredibly invasive polygraph tests occasionally, but have never had a problem getting through them.

I’ve also made a point to maintain my individuality and self-worth. Although I am often seen as conservative, I also hold some liberal views. For instance, if you were to spot me in town, you would notice that I am always barefoot. Everywhere. Some would say that I shouldn’t allow myself to stand out like that because then questions might be raised and then my status might come to light. But I refuse to live my life in fear like that. I hold my head high and am not ashamed of myself as a person. Yes, I am deeply ashamed of the crimes I committed years ago, but those crimes do not define who I am as a person. The board that I am a member of is aware of my status and supports me and they like the fact that I am comfortable living a barefoot lifestyle. My point is that I am seen as a productive member of the board and I am not judged for the crimes I committed in the past nor for how I choose to live my life today. Much of that comes from my own attitude and the way I carry myself. I am confident and I participate. I do not hide.

Both my therapist and probation officer even know that I am a nudist. It’s part of who I am. I have found that it’s best to be completely honest and open with them and anyone I meet, for that matter. Well, I don’t necessarily blurt out things, but I don’t shy away from things either. I even managed to secure permission from them late last summer to attend a one day outing in another state at a nudist campground, which was for adults only. It would not have happened were there minors present. My point is that it is possible to do what you want to do in life. It might take a little more (or a lot more!) effort than before to get there, but it can be done.

So far, life is good. Yes, I could add “all things considered” but why? Life is different for me yes, but the bottom line is that life is good. I have five beautiful children and they are all doing very well. They live in another state as does my wife, but we all get along well for the most part.

There is life after prison, even for a registered citizen. Life is what you make of it. It’s not so easily done depending on where you live and a myriad of other factors, but your attitude is where the positive change starts.

    1. I’m a little surprised by your comment, whoever you are. I have not “excepted” anything willingly as far as my punishment is concerned. I committed a crime. I was guilty. I served my time and once I am finished with supervised release, my punishment will be over – but NOT my limitations. As long as my name is on that useless registry, my limitations will not end. And yes I agree – the registry is punishment regardless of how the legal scholars try to twist it any other way. You are mistaken – I am NOT a man broken. Far from it! I am a different person than I once was, no doubt about it, but I assure you, I hold my head high and no I don’t accept my second class citizen status at all. I wouldn’t be a member of NARSOL if I did.

  1. My son was arrested 2.5 years ago for having child porn on his computer. He had a fine, work release for 6 weeks in county jail, a treatment program to attend, and 10 years probation. He also had 3 years prison that was held back. He graduated from college with a masters in electrical engineering and got a job. He continued with his treatment and apparently told the counselor that he went to a website he should not have asking for help. He got arrested and is now in jail with 4 counts of possession. How can a person get help if the help they get turns them in? The new charges are a probation violation so he may get a harsh sentence. This happened in Idaho and because we spent $15,000 for an attorney last time he has to deal with a public defender this time.

    1. Hi Jann, I’m very sorry to hear about your son’s arrest and incarceration. Just to clarify – I think you said that after your son went to a website he shouldn’t have, he told his counselor and asked for help. It almost sounded like he went to a website asking for help and then told his counselor. I know that may sound picky, but I actually did try to go to a website asking for help for my addictions long before I was arrested. Regardless, his admission got him into trouble. That is the crux of my complaint too – how does a person get help if all it ends up doing is getting them thrown into jail? It’s a terrible setup and I have no answer. I understand your frustration but I don’t see a way out in this case. His probation officer is critical here too – what does that person have to say? The PO could recommend leniency depending on the circumstances. I’m no legal expert either – I’m just speaking on my own here. I’m sorry.

      1. VICTOR PALMA

        Glad to hear it. Glad to see that you are one of the few people that could feel what I was saying. Did you read my response to Deb?

        The fact that there is no help for SOs is not mere chance. It is but because they have no place in society. Just defamation, destruction, and death. It is cruel but it does the majority some sort of good. They will only consider the fact that the deeds were done (or not done, as in the case of a man who was falsely accused, of an SO crime concerning a minor or woman and prosecutors would work against him anyway) and the cases where men have committed crimes again.

        You seem to have some faith. For sure the devil loves SO crimes involving minors the most. Rest assured he does. He knows how people tick and which sexually deviated person would be predisposed to viewing CP and/or doing some other SO crime involving minors. He knows who would be predisposed to verbally or physically opposing such people. He knows his justice system in and out and how the laws work. He can orchestrate events and have things go from bad thing to another (from an apartment/house sting to jail, to a magistrate court where the charges are spoken in the midst of others by the judge, to defamation on the news, to being given an exceptionally high bond, to trials in court, then to pr@@@@@ to die) right before a person’s eyes. False incarc@@@tion is no accident but has been orchestrated by him.

        What had happened to me was years in the making and he (Satan) and his agents had been waiting for quite some time. Even had people, of both genders and different races, prejudge me and say things to others about me, such as “per@@@t” and how I “looked like” a (insert word that starts with r, p, and m) years before the case.

        Basically “foreshadowing” the devastation and destruction that they willed for me. Not “forshadowing” that I would become those things but rather that circumstances would have it that I am branded as such and I see those people as being “right.” or “correct.” It would have worked for them either way. Whether I ended up committing SO crimes, non-contact, contact or both, it would work for them. As long as confusion, devastation, destruction, shame, humiliation, embarrassment, and death and of course, opposition from ignorant people were upon me, they would be glad and “satisfied.” I have said it before, that the very SO label, especially for crimes involving minors is bad enough. Just the label. That is what most people get worked up on. They work off of bitterness, ignorance, hatred, and fear just for the label itself! Deep down, there is no real substance to their opposition to SOs. There is nothing good there. Especially those that act against them verbally and physically. Imagine what would become of a man (not a busty blond woman) who had secretly recorded two teens having the “adult,” relations that they “don’t have the capacity to consent” to nor the physical capabilities, never to have any contact with them nor be seen by them and after a couple of recordings, just went about his day and never returned. Or a man that was in a relationship with a 16 year old girl in a state where the “age of consent” is 16 (how is it not 18 in the entire country is one of this world’s last mysteries), runs off with her to a state where the “age of consent” is 18, or even 17. Let’s assume there is an actual connection between the two and maybe the man is 20 something years old.

        Or a man whom a girl lied to about her age (no punishment for her by the way, and if some girl robbed a store with a man she would be liable, like how does that work?). There was a case mentioned online where an 18 year old man committed suicide because a girl lied about being 16 (the bogus “age of consent” in that state) when she was 15. She blackmailed him and let know what was to become of him.

        Got some more things to tell you. This message is fairly long.

      2. Victor Palma
        Some more things I want to tell ya.

        I myself was caught up for CP and like you, it did start out with the regular stuff. Seeds were planted in me from a young age (saw a dirty magazine at 9 and liked certain sexual scenes in tv and movies later on) then they grew. I was 11/12 when I typed a certain thing into a search bar. One thing had led to another after that and I ended up facing death at 20-something years old. For my 1st offense and as someone who had been in special ed as kid, was kinda slow, had learning and social difficulties, and was severely sleep deprived. Guess the phrase “curiosity killed the cat,” has some meaning to it.

        I gave a crooked detective a false confession and marked things on some survey of his, that added more fuel to the fire. Told him my name, gave the password to the PC, among other things. He, other officers and members of some “task force,” at the sting, were heavily under the influence of something otherworldly and pure evil. I could not control or stop what was happening. Doom was imminent for someone who could easily stay in a house all day everyday, only going out to buy stuff and barely having any contact with other people for 10 months straight. At some point during his manipulations against me in his car, the female officer who sat behind him (probably as another “witness,” perhaps along with some recording device that most likely wasn’t lawful to as she observed what he was doing to me, had gotten out of the vehicle, walked away, then returned to the driver’s side with my psyche meds at a certain point. She showed the detective them on-the-low, so as for me not to notice what they were doing to me. He took that finding and “swept it under the rug.” It takes one (me) that was evil, to know evil. And one that was greatly good, to know great good.

        Though some people would think otherwise, I’m not trying to downplay what was done or take away responsibility from myself. I would like people to have an understanding. I hate that part of my past with a passion.

        If the majarity of Americans can’t understand the fact that a person who gets involved with CP had been sickened with regular porn from a young age (some of them having been sexually abused too, and possibly from female perpetrators), then how could they “understand,” or know that they “must be destroyed”? How could they “know” for sure what punishment they should get? How could they know that a young man arrested for CP deserves misery and death when they don’t know much of anything about the person to begin with? How could some people, whether as prosecutors and jury members exact punishment, when they themselves desire the same serious crimes to take place to the SOs or murderers, in their hearts? Though it is a dangerous gamble, I’ve encountered people that would do things again. In most serious criminal cases (not just SO cases), prosecutors just lie, speak deceptions, falsely accuse, and talk smack about the defendant. Even if that defendent were possibly innocent (there are cases where evidence clearly suggests. that a person is innocent), that wouldn’t concern them and they would do the same things. In fact, there was one that said that it was “his job,” to “prove beyond a reasonable doubt” that a person was guilty. If I remember that correctly.

        I experienced some crazy stuff during my criminal case. The stuff of nightmares. The entire case and certain things that happened during it, was something out of a horror movie. I will share them with you.

      3. Victor, I didn’t state the facts very clearly. After my son’s arrest 2.5 years ago he was required to go to counseling as part of a treatment program. In September of this year he told the counselor that he had slipped and gone someplace on the internet that he should not have. The counselor apparently notified the police either directly or as a result of that counselor going to their supervisor. At any rate, my son was arrested on October 17th for a probation violation. Now he also has new charges for possession of child porn. We can’t afford another attorney, as the first one 2.5 years ago was $15,000. I don’t know what will happen but this whole system of so called justice needs to be changed. Thanks for your response. I wish I knew what to do to help change things.

      4. Hi Jann. Thank you for clarifying. The system is extremely unforgiving, especially once you are on probation or supervised release. In my experience, paid attorneys aren’t usually worth the cost when it comes to sex offenses. That’s strictly my opinion. I had a public defender and she did just fine. In fact, I have serious doubts that a paid attorney would have done as well. Of course, everyone’s experience can be different. As far as knowing what you can do to change things – that’s a long road. We all have to take the long view. This is not something that can be fixed overnight. If you are not already a member of NARSOL, you should be. I support this organization because I know they have the right strategy and they fight for our rights. Although the focus of NARSOL is not on adult pornography, that’s where the root of many of these problems come from, at least in my case. It is way too pervasive and way too easy to get to and then it’s a slippery slope to get into the illegal stuff after that. The focus of lawmakers always seems to be on punishment – never on prevention. And that’s another root problem. There should be programs in place to help those of us who have had unhealthy desires and that help should be available without fear of retribution. Sadly, that’s not how the system is set up. But it needs to be.

      5. NARSOL’s focus is on the registry. How a person got on it is not our concern. Nobody should be on it.
        Jann,
        More than a year ago you filled out the volunteer application. You told us a couple times that you were ready to get started and I set up your profile, but then we haven’t heard from you since. If you are wanting to get involved and start doing something with NARSOL, please let me know by contacting me at the volunteer coordinator email. Anyone else, feel free to fill out the application on the main site.

  2. I was convicted in 2010 of a Lewd Act on a child 16 and under in South Carolina. I was at a party and drunk beyond what is typical and was approached by a guy who looked 18, needless to say he was 16. I spent 3 1/2 years incarcerated and then spent 5 years on probation/supervision. The first 2 years I spent in SC with an ankle monitor with out the hope of ever having it taken off. I put in a transfer to Maryland in 2015 to be closer to my brother and have been living here for 5 years. I have been off probation for a little over 1 1/2 years and Maryland is a decent place to live. I am fortunate that I rent a home from my brother and I am disabled so I have SSI and a Military Pension. I have never had an instance since coming here of someone calling me out. My neighbors all know because I told them upfront. I run a small Ebay business to bring in extra cash and life for the most part is good.
    Trying to find work of course is tough in any state. Thats why I started my Ebay business. I know what I did was wrong and I paid my debt to society, but there are still those out there that consider you a piece of trash and constantly try to keep you down. I am a Marine veteran and I may be gay but I stand up to people when ever they try and put me down. Its still hard, you have to always be mindful of who is around you and where you are. Maryland is not bad, but some states have rules that you may not even beware of. For instance Illinois has a law that S.O.’s can not be in any parks, state or local. Period. So if you like camping stay out of Illinois. All in all it is what you make it. If you let people beat you down, they will, but if you stand tall, you can usually hold your own. Live like theres no tomorrow and Dance!

    1. Hey Michael,

      Thank you for commenting on my story. Since we both live in Maryland, it would be great to meet in person! Would love to share experiences (you know war stories since we’re both military vets) and such. But I don’t know how to get in touch with someone through this site. I’m glad to hear that you’ve been successful and I agree that Maryland is a decent place to live for those of us who are on the registry. I too have been fortunate for not being harassed much although it has happened once or twice. My biggest challenge has been finding a decent job which the registry has absolutely prevented.

      Victor

      1. You know NARSOL’s executive director is from Maryland and runs an affiliated organization there. The two of you might benefit from contacting them and maybe attending a meeting https://fairregistry.org/. I think she is also running a Fearless group in Maryland. You could ask about that.

  3. Thank you Deb for your comments! I’m so glad to hear your son is doing ok. I felt exactly the same thing when it comes to child pornography being an addiction and getting help right away instead of waiting until after prison. My experience in prison was a complete waste of time as far as any rehabilitiation is concerned. It’s a hole in my life and time lost that I can never get back. Sure I did a lot of reflection, but there was no help at all offered. I think part of the problem is the sheer number of us that are/were in prison. It’s overwhelming. At the federal facility where I was, there were thousands of people incarcerated for sex crimes. Thousands. There were programs for things like drug addictions and even alcoholism. But nothing for sex crimes. We were considered the lowest of the low in prison. We were to be ignored and spat upon, not helped. I did manage to find a prison psychologist who was willing to help me a little but that was all. I had to seek it out and it wasn’t easy. And she couldn’t really do much. Before I went to prison, I deseparately wanted help, but was deathly afraid of seeking help because I knew I would be reported and immediately arrested. What kind of motivation is that? The “Deep Dive” you referred to is exactly what I went through in my 4 1/2 years of group therapy. It was incredibly helpful. And how I wished I had had that opportunity before I ever committed the crimes that put me in prison. I knew I needed help. But, I am over the bitterness now. We need to keep pushing for help before prison, not only after! Oh and this ridiculous registry, what a waste of time and taxpayer money. All harm, and no good. Anyway, I’m ranting now. Take care.

    Victor

    1. VICTOR PALMA

      The treatment for SOs is just another punishment in itself. That is not to say that there aren’t therapists and others out there that are sincere in their work and want to make a difference. But overall, most of those involved in the mental health system, or treatment/rehab think the same way that most other Americans do about SOs (mostly men and especially the men involved with crimes involving minors). Nearly everything in America, from politics, the government, colleges, mental health services, medical hospitals etc are just business and SOs are “bad for buisiness.” Most companies and institutions, particularly the mental health/drug and alcohol treatment profession, do things to make money, gain public interest and/or favor, maintain the public narrative, and to “keep up with the times.” I once read a plaque at a medical hospital that said that people couldn’t be refused treatment or discriminated against based on race, ethnictiy, disability, sex, sexual orientation, “gender expression,” “gender identity” etc. The last three of those terms were emboldened on one website.

      The fact that there is little to no treatment for SOs is not random chance. It is because the people as a whole don’t want that. There are wonder drugs and treatments for many things, from anxiety, anger, gaming addiction, depression, and even for men who have thoughts/desires of victimizing women (one college that I knew of had mentioned that on a pamphlet), but somehow there is little to nothing that is available for SOs. How does that work?

      Neither is there much, if not anything that’s available for the people who have an attraction to minors (including teens and women) and have not committed any crimes. Some of which would never commit crimes and some of which there is a possibility that they would (wrong place at the wrong time perhaps) and would definitely need some help. It doesn’t matter to the majority that crimes weren’t committed by those certain people with that attraction I mentioned, but the same blinding fear, ignorance, bitterness, and hatred extends to those people as well and they would also be “bad for business.”

      Americans make many things happen all the time, through their collective will and their priorities. Such as building stadiums and broadcasting sports, creating and allowing the circulation of medications for blood pressure, anxiety and drug addiction etc,. The study and treatment of SOs is not a priority for the majority nor will it ever be.

      One of the things that could help someone who is predisposed to being involved with CP is that they never view anything from that abomination that is the porn/adult entertainment industry (some nefarious thing that reels in billions of dollars a year for the country). Certainly from the time when they are minors themselves. If they do view those things then they would be playing a very dangerous game.

      1. Crash, I enjoyed your commentary. You made a lot of good points. NARSOL rightly points out that statistically, it’s not people who are on the registry that are the problem – it’s the people who are NOT on the registry that commit the majority of sex offenses – a HUGE majority! Why? Because there is no help available before one commits a crime – that was my experience anyway. I knew I needed help. I needed it desperately. I wanted the help desperately. But I couldn’t get the help because it would have resulted in immediate incarceration because I had already been committing the crime of viewing child pornorgraphy for many years. How do we reach people like that? How do they get the help they already know they need without the fear of prison time? One thing I learned through group therapy was the point you made at the end of your commentary – adult pornography was where it all began for me. It awoke in me a latent desire for more and more and eventually younger and younger. It was insidious. I didn’t think there was a problem with viewing adult pornography which of course is a fallacy. By the time I started viewing younger, illegal images, I was trapped. I did not know how to get out of that trap. It was madness. It seems to me that if there were a way to get help without fear of reprisal, at least in many cases such as viewing child pornography only – without a contact offense, that would give people like me a way out before disaster hits.

        Victor

  4. My son basically went through the same, finding housing, and work but that is not why I am replying. I have a question that has bothered me – their are addictions of all sorts, gambling, eating, shopping, whatever, I see viewing child pornography as an addiction (I believe viewing adult porn has been labeled as an addiction) so why can’t CP be done the same and instead of placing in prison where absolutely no help will be given have the offender go through SERIOUS therapy. Why does the therapy happen afterwards why waste the years behind bars when the issue can be dealt with on nearly an immediate level. The way I see it, it’s like disciplining a child five years after they have done the thing they were not suppose to do. Why wait? The prison system is full and we all know that is not the place to receive any type of help. People such as my son need the one on one and a deep dive as to find out why he chose such a route. Currently I can say my son is doing good – he has found work with a very reputable company and although it is minimum wage he is managing. He is going to group and individual therapy and with luck we will get to the bottom of the problem.

    1. DEB WELSH

      A person involved with CP would not be seen as having an “addiction” because of the blinding fear, ignorance, bitterness, and hatred most Americans have towards people (mostly men and barely, if not amy women) who have committed sexual crimes (especially those concerning people that are under 18). That blinding fear, ignorance, bitterness, and hatred has been ingrained in society for decades and that isn’t going anywhere. Most people from a young age consider men involved with SO crimes involving minors as “perverts,” “creeps,” “dangerous” etc and has indirectly allowed teen girls and women to victimize others and stay under the radar. That is how they were programmed and it does the public some sort of good.

      Those involved with the mental health system, including therapists, “psychiatrists,” and “psychologists” think the same way that most other Americans do and some will often work against men with SO cases the best they could, through perjury on paper or by mouth in a courtroom. Even if those men are facing certain death over unfair cases. The so-called “forensic psychologists” who work directly with the judicial system especially, whether “evaluating” those with criminal cases or giving their opinions in divorce/family courts would definitely make things up, lie, manipulate, and work against those within their crosshairs. Especially those men with SO cases. They will “play hero” as the lives of certain people hang in the balance, disregarding their mental state.

      Most “psychiatrists” and “psychologists” are quacks and do certain things to make money, gain public interest and/or favor, fit the public narrative, or mindset, and to “keep up with the times.” People associated with them in certain organizations too.

      Like for example the treatment of people that are addicted to “legal” porn like you said or the treatment of “sex addiction,” the American Psychiatric Association having homosexuality (towards men in particular) listed as a “disorder” decades ago, then one day and out of the blue, had changed their minds and had it removed (though I don’t agree with such a listing, I’m just making an example here), the listing of “gaming disorder” by the World Health Organization in the ICD-11 in a section along with other “substance use” or “addictive behaviors” such as “gambling disorder,” the WHO no longer classifying transgendered people as having a “disorder” and playing into their condition and leading them on, the renaming of “gender identity disorder” as “gender dysphoria” by the APA in the DSM to remove the “stigma” associated with the term disorder and playing into the condition of people that consider themselves transgender and the term addresses the “distress” associated with their actual condition and not the condition itself, the listing of pedophilia as a “mental disorder” or “psychiatric disorder” by the APA in the DSM to play into the minsconceptions, negative feelings, and “stigma” by the public and not doing much, if not anything, for the “disorder” in those who have not committed crimes and most surely for those who have and working against those ones who have (through perjury on paper or in court after “evalutions” in jail or over lies that were spread at some dump where they work at, through the indefinite hospitalizations of violent SOs in the states that allow them, and in some cases through “treatment” out in the community for those on probation which includes lie detector tests).

      It’s funny because the “legal” porn that society allows to be seen freely turns many people (mostly men) into sick, sexual deviants from a really young age (some as young as 8, but what do the lawmakers, politicians, prosecutors, and most other citizens care anyway?). That same stuff has many people treated for “addiction” yet for some people that it has steered into CP, there is no treatment either way. No place to squeeze in. See how that works? Any CP can be reported and removed on mainstream porn sites but the root cause of “porn addiction” and the involvement of CP for certain people gets to stay! No correlation is made between the regular or “legal” porn (whether they paid for it or not but mostly the stuff that is free) that people freely see within the comfort of theirs homes, at school, or elsewhere by most Americans, as many of them would consider that fact along with the proposal that porn should be banned as ridiculous and against the constitution but such a correlation was made by a demon-possessed detective against me after unfairly and unjustly getting the highest amount of charges that he could onto me, then saying devilish, mocking, and insidious things about me to other officers at the precinct along with lying and manipulating his report and destroying my name/face through the news. For CP charges. Even got me a false “solicitation” of a minor charge.

      By the way, a female officer had shown him my psyche meds that were found on a dresser the morning of my arrest, when he was manipulating a confession from me im his car (he used a false confession of mine and things that I marked on some bogus survey of his and he also threw the words “There’s ‘nothing wrong’ with porn, Crash” at some point, and had this persistence with asking me about the regular, or “legal” porn I’d seen as if that had anything to do with the crimes, or situation which certainly that stuff did if you catch my drift) on-the-low, so as for me not to notice what they were doing to me and he basically swept that finding under the rug. I was impaired, was slow, was severely sleep-deprived, had social anxiety, undeveloped, etc. Had me facing death at 20 something, for my 1st offense then hideously mocked me in some room. Real talk.

      The story doesn’t end there and there were many other evil people, free or not and including those involved with the mental health system, who had done their worst. Three people that worked in a psyche hospital, including a female therapist, got me falsely remanded, or cuffed in a courtroom, using the lie that I had “threatened” one of the other 2 with “rape” and basically my charges, against me. Trust me, some “law-abiding” citizens can be some real monsters out there and some “garbage” people can be some of the best, or most good people out there.

      Good to hear that your son is doing well. I am all up for redemption. Hopefully things stay the way they are for him.

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