By Pamela . . .
Hi I’m Pamela and my story is watching my husband who was military, Steve’s in Iraq and Bosnia for his country went to jail for 9 months in Germany for 35 pictures on internet that one specialist said was under age other specialist said wasn’t. No matter… what’s done is done he paid his dues kicked out of Army, lost retirement, did jail time, did therapy, lost V.A. benefits is considered tier 1 offender and been on registry for 16 years. came home in hopes of starting over and just try to pick up the pieces of his life support his family and get back on track. Though life had a different story for him. He couldn’t get anywhere looking for a job so started working as a painter then found work at a cabinet shop. Life was ok but hard we read that you could get off registry after 15 years of good behavior in Missouri so we sold everything moved to Missouri tried to get off registry and they said nope can’t do it. Disappointing but no big deal till he started looking for jobs he was way over qualified for. He was air traffic controller instructor, 82nd airborne, meteorology, 10th mountain division, air assault life saving combat skills…anyhow was offered several jobs but background check came back sex offender no job! He started wondering if life as a sex offender is worth living. My husband returned to me a different person. He has depression, PTSD, night sweats, insomnia and the list goes on….to top that off now he can’t get a job to support his family, what happiness is left to them no job no prospect of ever living a normal life again pride gone the camel can only hold so much before his back breaks. Not to mention the hardship that I as his spouse and his family go through as well because of this. Picture passed around the neighborhood, constant checks to see where he is what he’s doing, neighbors wondering what cops are doing there when they check on him it’s humiliating shameful and degrading not just for him but his family as well he did his time paid his dues let him get on with his life before there’s no life to move on with. I’m truly sorry to those who have been wronged by predators but one mistake in life does not make you a predator repeat offenses do. Just saying give people a chance find out there story help them don’t hinder them. Stop judging according to what you read judge according to who they are now. We thought Missouri would be a new chance for us, but since no one would hire him we have since fell into bankruptcy live in a shed and struggle to even get by some days he’s so depressed he asks if there’s even any reason to get out of bed. Is this how you treat people who gave everything for your freedoms? One mistake branded for life…..Just asking people to give a thought and care for others.
I am in the same boat! I’m in Tennessee. When stationed in Hawaii, I was accused and found guilty of wrongful sexual contact (sexual assault in civilian life). She made the claim I touched her inappropriately.. she was twice my age and twice my size.. I received an general (under honorable) discharge! The judge told me to appeal but i didnt even have the ability. Or money. Or sense to. I was young and ignorant to the law And going through a divorce. After being homeless for 3 years I was awarded 100% disabled veteran through the VA! I’ve had 19 jobs in the past 15 years! I was always over qualified, but when They found out i was on the registry, they fired me. Im not a felon. I’ve done 15 years on the list as a teir one. I was Only supposed to do 10!
I became an alcoholic. Got 4 duis in 38 months! I’m sober now since 2021. I helped raise 3 step children from age 6, 7 and 12, they are now grown. I’ve been married for 13 years now to a wonderful woman who is the only one in my life that has stuck by me through everything. We have two kids together 7 and 9.
I sometimes wonder if life is worth living this way as well. I always feel guilty even through im inpccent. I dont feel worthy of life. I’ve attempted and contemplated suicide. The sex offender registry is a life time punishment. Murderer’s do time get out and go about there day. SO registry is a modern day witch hunt and Scarlett letter. I’ve lost ”fair weather freinds”, Jobs, respect, I have no direction in life. I’m still lost and I trun 39 in may.
If I didn’t have the VA, I would still be homeless, living in my tent on the Mississippi River like I did for 3 years 2010-2014 and drank myself to death.
I’d like to hear from you if you would. I’m kreg all wells. In Tennessee.