originally posted 10/14/2008

In the eyes of the law, my son is a registered sex offender in Illinois. This is the furthest thing from the truth, a truth nobody has wanted to hear.

Paul at the age of 18 was very close to his 2nd cousin, a girl who was 12. Paul is ADHD and learning disabled (All documented; report dated just weeks before his arrest show his comprehension level at the 4th grade, 7th month. This was an evaluation for special education paid for by the state to determine goals for life after high school). The cousins were together everyday due to her mom being a caregiver for my mother.

On Memorial weekend, 2003, the girl`s family went on a camping trip which included Paul. Her Mom noticed them sitting close and wanted to know what was going on between the two of them. Both children denied anything was going on and yet she insisted that the children were lying.

Upon returning home from camping on Sunday, the girl`s mother grounded her to her room, with no books, TV or games. She was not allowed out of the room except to use the bathroom until she told the “truth.” Regardless of what either child said, her mother refused to let her out of her room until the truth was told. Her mom went so far as to take her to the emergency room on Tuesday to see if she had been having sex. Finally on Thursday the girl told her Mom that Paul had touched her and was allowed out of her room for telling the “truth.” She couldn’t say exactly when this happened, only that it happened twice; once in February and once in March at my house. I know for a fact that it couldn’t have happened in March, because she was grounded the entire month for hooking up with a 23 year old on the internet, lying about her age, saying she was 18 and having him call my house so that they could set up a location to meet.

The girl’s parents went to the police to file a complaint and until Paul’s arrest, she continually called him and told him to just tell the police he did it and everything would be over with.

On Sunday, June 15th, Paul was stopped by the neighborhood police while driving one of his other cousins home. My husband and I were at the police station within minutes of the police bringing him there. They refused to let me see him since he was 18. I knew because of his low comprehension that he would not understand what was going on.

Paul was kept there, booked and arraigned the next morning because he “confessed.” He told the police, “Whatever she said I did, I did.”

After Paul was arraigned and we brought him home we talked at great length about what happened. When I asked him why he didn’t ask for a lawyer when the police asked him he told me that he was never asked if he wanted an attorney. I told Paul that they had to have asked him and he said, no, they didn’t! I said, Paul, did they say you have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney, and he said yes. I pointed out to him that that was the way of them asking if he wanted an attorney. He started to sob and told me he didn’t know that’s what it meant. He also told me that the police officer told him to just say he did it and he’d be out of there and home in time at all. I know my son did not understand what was happening; even the police knew he had a disability. The very first thing on the police report is that Paul is ADHD. Someone should have intervened and explained to him. Upon reading Paul’s confession, I knew that a large part of it had been dictated to him.

As the months went by and we went back and forth to court, nobody wanted to listen or hear the truth. No matter the motions our lawyer filed, nobody wanted to listen. At one point, the girl`s mother (related through my sister, the grandmother) that if we gave them $2500 they would see what they could do about dropping the charges. This was brought to the attention of the state’s attorney and again nobody cared. This was all for money.

Paul at this time was 592 294 and weighed 105. We knew we risked prison time for him if we went to trial and lost because of his confession; so when the state’s attorney offered a plea bargain in June of 2004 of 2 years probation we took it knowing he would never survive in prison being as small is he was, having low comprehension, and the maturity of a 12 year old. God, I am so sorry that we didn’t fight then.

For 3-1/2 years we have been in a nightmare and it has now come to a head. Paul has had much difficulty in gaining employment, not only because of his sex offender status, but due to his disabilities. He finally gained employment, delivering pizzas and he was the happiest I had seen him since this nightmare started. When his boss found out he was an offender and couldn’t deliver to schools he was fired from his job and has not been able to gain employment since.

I am now watching my son slowly die emotionally because of this label. He is appalled that this label has been put on him, knowing he would never touch or hurt anyone in his life and that nobody wants to hear the truth. He’s been accused of touching this girl, and to think that he is now labeled with others who have viscously attacked children. I, and my family have lost ALL faith in our system. Where is justice? When this all started I had faith and believed in our system, that the truth would prevail, that others would see he didn’t understand when he “confessed” because the girl and the police told him to just admit he did it. Now I see that it’s actor against actor, state’s attorney against defense lawyer; the best actor wins.



  1. We hear. We care. Your story may be hearsay to us, but it carries echoes of our own true stories.

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