Nothing We Can Do About It

originally posted 7/27/2009

Back in 1995, before my husband turned 18 years old, he was accused of first degree sexual abuse by three girls.  These girls were all friends, all of which disliked me and the fact that I was dating him at the time.   One of the girls’ mothers was actually my then-boyfriend’s, and had recently fired him from his job and the other two were actually his cousin’s children and were very mad at their father.

I still remember the acting officer coming to my mom’s house and saying, “I’m sorry, Joey, I know you haven’t done anything wrong, but I have to
take you to jail for the night.”   Numerous charges (25 to be exact) on top of the other charges he had.   He was a troubled teen and into drugs, and I guess I thought that I could save him from himself.   I never left his side.   Even through the two years that he was in prison, I knew he couldn’t have done
those things.

Day after day in court, my husband maintained his innocence.   He was taking it to trial because we all knew he hadn’t done anything.

Then, his own lawyer got to him.   “You can take this plea agreement.   We will drop ALL other charges (which included grand theft, attempted murder, escape in the first degree, larceny, and unarmed robbery) if you will just take this plea agreement.   All of your other charges will be gone, we will amend these down to 16 counts, give you good time for the 6 months you have already served and it will be over.  If you do not take the plea agreement, we will take this to court and you will get up to 25 years.”   His own lawyer had already made an agreement with the other attorney and had my husband convicted.   He (my husband) was scared and he didn’t want to spend any more time away from his family than he had to, so he took the agreement.

On the day that he was released, which was November 12, 1997, my husband was told that all he had to do was contact the local probation and parole
office.   We contacted them and my husband (still boyfriend at the time) was told that he had served his time.   There was nothing else he was required to do and he could live his life just like anyone else.  The horror was over, or so we thought.

In April of 2005, eight years and a five year old son later, a family member had some real trouble;  we got caught up in the situation and social services was called on us.   They brought a search warrant, the whole police force, it seemed, and the drug task force, and went through every little thing in my home.   To their dismay, they found nothing.   Even the detective said that they had no reason to be there.   There was nothing I could do.

A few days later, we received call that my husband, (now my husband by this time), was to report again to the local probation and parole office and register as a sex offender.   We both were mortified, but we were also informed that failure to do so within ten days would result in him going back to jail for failure to comply.   So, he went and registered.   Our life has been a living nightmare ever since.

My family has been ridiculed.   My husband has been refused jobs.   We were made to leave my son’s school during a fall festival they were having, with my son in tow screaming and crying because he didn’t want to leave.   I got a membership for our family to the YMCA and after three months was told that our family membership, including my children’s, had been terminated due to the fact of my husband being on the registry although he never utilized the membership himself.

We were recently informed that he can no longer go to the school and pick our son up for any reason unless it is first sent in writing and then must be approved, which is crazy because what if, for example, my son gets hurt and I cannot get there?   I would have to send a non-family member to get him because his OWN FATHER cannot go?

Our son is about to turn nine years old and I believe his teachers, once they find out who his father is,  treat us and my son differently because of his father being on the registry. We have a three year old daughter and you wouldn’t believe the way people look at and talk about us when they see him carrying our daughter out in public.

Recently, back in November of 2008, I went to the courthouse and got copies of all the cases so we could look through them ourselves and see what they actually said.   It states in, all the paperwork, that there were never any tests conducted on my husband, nor the girls who made allegations against my husband.   The only thing in the records, besides the girls’ claims, is a statement made by one of the girls to a counselor, but the records do not define or state what was said.

I was at every court date and hearing, but none of the girls, nor their parents, were present.   The girls see him in public and don’t make a point to stay away from him, they will even say hello in passing.

The saddest part in all of this, to me, is the fact that from the time I was 15 until the day I left home for good at 18, I was repeatedly sexually abused my mom’s ex-husband and he has yet to spend more than 24 hours behind bars.   I was forced to sign a petition stating that I was lying and this man is walking free to this day.   A man whom I KNOW is guilty and have to face because he still lives in the same small town that we do; yet my husband who never done anything, is classified as a monster and we have to live with this for the rest of his life
just because of something that was said, not proven.
I have tried and tried to find someone to help us, but no one will.   They all say that they would have to take his case back to court and he would just get more time.

Once we were done with the copies of my husband’s court documents, we then had to give them to the preacher of our church because people in the   congregation were talking and didn’t want us there.   He uses the papers as proof for the people of the church.   We have to prove ourselves to CHRISTIAN people!  My husband is a good man, a wonderful father, a preacher, and it doing the best that he can to provide what life he can for me and his children.   But, this has put a real strain on our marriage as well.   He feels like a failure to me and our children.   We have seperated before, we have argued, we stay at home and keep our children at home unless they go to a very close family member’s
home.   I won’t allow them to stay with friends because it scares me to think of what might happen if the other child’s parent was to find out about my husband.

We don’t go out much.   I am trying to go back to school and work on my Bachelor’s degree and only have maybe two close friends because I am afraid of what people will say or think if they find out our situation.   This has gone way beyond affecting just my husband.   Our whole family is affected, yet we cannot do anything.

I wish the laws were different.   I wish we had some kind of an option to get this overturned, but we have nothing.   We must continue to live our lives of solitude because all we have is each other and God.   Sometimes it’s enough, but sometimes we long for more.   But, what can we do?   There is nothing we can do.

6 thoughts on “Nothing We Can Do About It

  1. WHIZ

    Like I said, the things of this world are nothing. They are only temporary. The things that American society flashes to the masses every day, will wither away.

    They are nothing. So much so, that after a demon-possessed detective had used my state of mind, or intelligence against me in his car, through having me give him a false confession and taking some survey of his (while his blonde female assistant sat behind him and at some point had shown him my psyche meds on-the-low, so as for me not to notice), he went into the apartment that I was at and left some paper on the table that detailed my charges and arrest. For someone close to me to stumble upon it.

    Though, I didn’t have many people that were close to me and lived a solitary lifestyle and the system deliberately made it that when a person like me is locked up in a trap, they can’t even contact anyone and let them know that they were locked up and where. I couldn’t contact anyone because I didn’t have many people that were close to me and also in jail, the free call is a one-time deal that’s not even guaranteed to work, because of some faulty voice recognition system which needs to recognize a person’s name (which is deliberate in the sense that other inmates could overhear a person’s full name and tell others, maybe even have a relative look someone up). Some phones themselves were faulty. Also the call can only be made before some influenced or possessed officer starts imposing themselves on a person to go in whichever direction. Doesn’t matter if any calls were made and went through or not. Also the phones in the units can only be used if they are a paid for by someone from the outside, which would put some people in quite a dilemma. Oh, and it just so happened to be against the rules if another inmate lets someone use the phone off of their account. And if an inmate did let someone use their account, if would have to be a 3way that a friend or relative of that inmate was willing to make. Since calls can only be made to the numbers of people that made payments to the inmate’s account. They can’t even call a private attorney.

    Basically I was snatched up and set up for death then put into this limbo where no one would even know where I was at or that I had disappeared at all. Though there was the news and the apartment could not have been closed too long without anyone noticing inactivity. On top of that, the people who worked in the office section for that group of apartment complexes, had been in on my arrest and capture. They helped make it happen. Then kicked out a relative of mine like she was a dog. Told her everything in the apartment needed to go or they would have them thrown away. It kills me just thinking about that.

    God in His Mercy, Grace, and Providence had done several things that counteracted whatever work that was out for me. I was able to talk to those close to me, get out of jail despite having a ridiculously unfair/high bond, among many other things. So things would play out and work in my favor.

    So back to what I was saying. The apartment the detective had left the paper in was an expensive apartment and everything was left in it, as if they were but dust on the floor. My expensive suits, an expensive watch, food in the fridge, among many things were just left in there like they were nothing and eventually death was thrown onto my back. Those things that were left behind in the apartment, were things that people would consider as part of living the American dream, or the happy lifestyle that is portrayed on TV and in movies. Though my life wasn’t “happy,” I was in a dark, spiritual limbo. Not just in that apartment but throughout my entire life. It had only been a matter of time before death would take hold of me.

    The possessed detective had left the paper on the table, then eventually put death upon my back with 32 charges in cohoots with a prosecutor. He had smeared his report with lies and deceptions and even made it look as if I had been “soliciting” a 15 year old girl for sex online, which got me a false charge. I distinctly remember him telling me with this desperate, impish look on his face “There’s nothing wrong with porn, Crash,” in his black car, the morning of my arrest. He had asked about the whereabouts of the “man” who had sexually abused me as a child. Not that he gave an actual damn about me, or really anyone that’s victimized for that matter. He just wanted to go devour someone else. To be steered in whatever direction the forces of darkness send him in. Like a puppet. It had been an older male boy, not a man by the way. Real talk.

    From the apartment comtplex, I was driven by another officer, to the house of demons called a precinct. As we were on the road I was able to look around and see the cars driven by the citizens who were living the “happy,” “free” lifestyle as death itself was calling to me. Such people would then believe anything the detective, prosecutor, and newspeople put out on me, including the lie that I was soliciting a 15 year old girl. No questions asked. Crazy world, isn’t it? Saw the same thing when another officer drove me further away towards the jail. On the highways and whathaveyou.

    At the precinct, that same detective goes on some little tirade while hidden in some room, as he and other officers gazed at me on a monitor. I was left to sit in an interrogation room by myself and overheard him in some other room. There was a camera pointed at me, as I sat with my arms and head on my lap, shocked and confused as to what was happening to me. He said words such as “Crash is a dumb@@@!”, “He’s stupid,” “Look…he’s so scared,” “He knows we’re watching him.” Then it appeared as if he walked out into the hallway and said “So I asked him…Ares…and he told me yeah.” He said all of those things in some cold, dead, raspy tone like some “alien”(can anyone see the correlation there or is it just me?) creature took over his body. At 6 something in the morning. That case was something out of a horror movie. Ares is the name of a file sharing program and also the name that is attached to an ancient demon whom the ancient Greeks had believed to be a god, by the way.

    He then escorted me to an elevator where he stood stiff, staring at the elevator doors with this twisted, evil, and unrealistic grin on his face. Just standing there frozen and it seems that he didn’t blink either. Let anyone who read all this open their eyes. Falsely accused or not. Even the sexually deviated (and most likely viewers of that poison called porn) who have an attraction to minors and have never acted on that attraction.

  2. There is more to life than the commercialized “happy family” image society tries to sell you. You’re not missing out on anything by being an outsider, on the contrary you now are able to see the faults of the system where the majority of people are completely blind to them.

    Everyone having to deal with this system is afraid. I and my family have been helping a family member deal with their situation and they were falsely accused as well. We too have had to endure the solitude of exclusion and the incredible financial losses and setbacks. All because of a lie.

    A normal life is not completely out of reach, but it will definitely be a hard life. You’ll have to adapt but in finding Narsol and other resources like it you and anyone else out there are already taking steps in the right direction. Get informed, get tough, and survive. The system continues to expose its faults as politicians and legislators continue to stymie themselves.

    The system was built in response to the tragic cases out there and has resulted in a heavy handed stance against ALL offenders regardless of the seriousness of their offense or lack thereof. People are proposing all these laws forgetting that the pendulum swings both ways. Until they have to deal with it they’re complacent of the implications of what they’ve silently agreed to.

    Making matters worse are the officials who are eager to exploit the situation to their gain. They don’t miss a chance when it comes to adding fuel to the fire but when anyone wants to talk about sex offender legislation reform they suddenly have no comment.

    I’ll close this out by saying “be the change you want to see”. When it comes to what’s happening here we’re all going to have to take a stand in whatever way we can. For ourselves and for the sake of those who haven’t read this yet and may never read these words. And for those who are helping to further the cause and have committed to it despite their personal situations or the risks involved.

    1. WHIZ

      It’s as if the so-called “nutcase” comspiracy theorists were right about the the media, as well as the tv and movie industry, as being under the dominion of some secret, nefarious group and that said media, tv and movie industry would constantly send out subliminal messaging to the masses. Not that I believe there is a group (at least not a small group of humans but rather a really large group of fallen angels who are pure evil) and most other things that those people believe.

      I do believe that there is sublimimal messaging though. Basically some sort of thing that stays in a person’s subconscious from what they read, watch, or hear on the news, in TV/Netflix shows, cartoons, or movies, and articles and videos online. The messages are things that stay in the back of their minds and would have some sort of influence on them. Things like curses, insults, materialism, and sexual things. A good example is the happy-go-lucky lifestyle that is shown in comedy shows, when reality is a lot worse than it seems to be. Another example is rap music that mentions dealing drugs, playing around with women and carrying guns which steer many young people who had not even grown up on the streets and were not a part of “that life” to end up in the system for many years. Or the branding of SOs on the news, with certain words that are attached to them. Words like “pervert” that would stay with those(men in particular) who spend years, without committing crimes again. From a young age, people in America pick up and absorb fear, bitterness, hatred, and ignorance towards SOs from people around them like family members and friends, but subliminally through the news or news articles online. For male SOs, the crime nor details of the crime matters nor does their state of mind and whether or not they actually would commit such crimes again. Just look at the comments under that video from inside edition from 2 weeks ago that was about a kidnapper being attacked by another inmate. Mind you, I do not downplay any crime, the comments and the many likes they receive just give a representation of how most people think. The sort of people who would be politicians, lawmakers, news anchors, law enforcement, prosecutors, jury members, psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, mental health techs, social workers, etc.

      There really is more to life than the happy go-lucky lifestyle that American society portrays. Things like money, cars, clothes, expensive houses or apartments, and sports programming from the NBA or NFL are vanity. They are useless. They are but leaves ready to be blown away by the wind

  3. If he was under 18 at the time, then what is the crime and why wasn’t it resolved in juvenile court?

  4. Don’t care what other people think life is easier if you or other people know he’s not guilty. I’m not truly guilty I point out facts to people, I’m married with 2 step kids 9 year old boy and 11 year old girl I work a full time job. My secret to success is I don’t care what people life is not that complicated people know the system sucks.

  5. originally posted 2009

    Well you could help by recruiting members for some of the Sex-offender groups, if our voices are heard enough and the ones that can vote will do it, change is possible, we have to unite or there will never be a chance. I know I am preaching to the choir ,but action is the only way it is going to work! Knowledge for the public will also help, but keeping yourself isolated is not the answer either, finish school. Love your children

    and if need be get on a anti-depressant , Speak with other Offenders family92s, join a local support group and if you do not have one, start it.

    You are not alone! Every one on this registry at some point in time feels the same pain you do. Hang in there and tell your husband to be

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