originally posted 1/13/2012
I want it clear that I know I made mistakes, and I am not excusing my responsibility in any way.
I had a sexual relationship with a teenage girl in 2005, her father knew and was OK with it. She pretty much lived with me for a little over a year, with parental consent. We were not careful (did not use protection) We were scared but excited when she became pregnant. Upon reviving welfare benefits, the state required a DNA test to prove paternity.
A year after this I was charged by the state for rape. Our relationship broke down, but I still see our daughter on weekends, and pay child support. [My girlfriend] was already 18 when the court preceding started. She even stood in my defense, stating it was consensual My lawyer told me with DNA I could not win, so I took a plea for 3rd degree criminal sexual conduct in 2007 (statutory rape). I was unaware it would put me on the registry.
Oh man the effects of the registry: cost me my job, and home. They determined I am not a threat to children, however I can only have supervised contact with my daughter, can not be/work anywhere there may be a minor. Only by God’s grace am I now with a woman who supports me, or I would be homeless. Being on the registry has made it impossible to find work, which means I can not pay my child support, which in turn means I have no license.
My other daughter is teased because of my status. My friends, or who I thought were friends, were all OK with my relationship, however now that I am a “Registered Sex Offender”, they want nothing to do with me. I have been assaulted by the police, breaking my nose and hand because ”this is how we handle sex offenders”. The city police from the next town over drive by my house 4-5 times a day, sit across the street in the middle of the night and shine their spotlight on my house, and I live about 100 yards in a different county. (They don’t have jurisdiction here – I have checked.)
I thought my relationship was ok because there was parental consent, now I am a ”Sex Offender”; an outcast, unwanted, undesired. How is this even fair?