originally posted 6/2012
I will try to make my story as short as I can but also getting to the point. Sex offense laws MUST get changed!
My son was arrested in 2010, he was 23. In 2011 he was sentenced to 15 years in prison and Lifetime probation. He had never been in trouble before. At 1:30 a.m. the morning of his offense he was extremely intoxicated on alcohol and under the influence of the drug zanax, which was not prescribed for him. He did one inappropriate thing to a young child {{who was not being supervised by the parent, and was allowed to be up at that time of night in an apartment of young adults that were partying!}}. He did not use force, he was not violent, it was not a repeated offense, he had never done anything like that before. He was put in jail with no bail, where he sat for 10 months before finally having to settle for a plea of 10-15 years with life probation. Of course we didn’t have the money to hire an attorney so we had to settle for a public defender. Although he did do something wrong there was no way in the world I thought he would get a sentence like that. It was take the plea or go to trial and take a chance on 35 to life. He was guilty but did this one offense warrant that extreme sentence? No one bothering to take a good look at the circumstances behind the events that happened. The victims family stood in the court and lied to the Judge. I also believe the Judge did not even read the case because he would have questioned many things had he read it. I was told that I was not allowed to say anything in response to their lies. Regardless, the sentence my son received absolutely did not fit the crime. This all happened in Arizona. I happen to live in another state so it is not easy for me to get to see my son very often. It is a financial burden to his dad and I to have to send him money for extra food etc. They say it costs about $30,000 a year to house a prisoner. I know other states that this same offense would have given him probation but not prison. Somehow, someway these laws have to change. Not all cases are the same. Not all circumstances are the same. To lump every person that commits a sex offense into one big barrel is wrong! Each case should be looked at individually. As for the Sex Offense Registry. I think that should only be in effect for genuine sex offenders who have been violent, repetitive offenders. I have talked to so many people over the past 2 years that have been through hell with the Arizona system alone. There is no justice anymore. People’s lives are being ruined because of the tag of “sex offender.” I shudder at the thought of my son getting out at the age of about 36 or so and not being able to be around his nephews or cousins that will still be under 18 when he gets out. Him not being able to get a job or actually lead a decent life. He may as well have a life sentence period. That is was the label sex offender does-gives a person a life sentence only on the outside. I forgot to mention that our ENTIRE family has stood behind him. No one has shut him out and we have a lot of family friends that understand and back us. If people are judged and prosecuted so severely for one mistake they make in life then soon we will all be in prison! Another thing that bothers me so much is why do murderers or other heinous crimes tend to get less sentences? Oh I could go on and on… thank you for reading my “”short”” story. I hope everyone that is involved with anyone labeled as a sex offender will help to get these laws changed especially in the extremely cruel states!
You do an awful lot of blaming others. So what if that child was up past it’s bedtime. Is it the child’s fault then? Or the parents? What a stupid thing to say! That child is the victim here. And using drug use as an excuse. My daughter abused xanax and never molested her son. That tells me your son has probably done this before and just got caught this time. That’s how sex offenders usually operate. They seldom get caught on their first offense.
No one wants their child to go to prison but your adult son violated a small, defenseless child. But according you, it was only a little offense. You don’t think it’s fair what’s happening to him? Well I don’t think it’s fair that adults prey sexually on children. That’s not fair, and children don’t get to ‘serve their time and get over it’. They have to live with it forever, so why shouldn’t the predator have to live with it a lifetime?
Do I think child molester’s families should suffer because their relatives chose to hurt babies and children? No I don’t but they hurt a lot of people when the do what they do. It’s not the law that that causes all your troubles, it’s your sick family members. Put the blame where the blame goes. He wouldn’t be in prison if he hadn’t molested a child. You might not think it’s fair but I’m sure his victim doesn’t think it’s fair that he/she was assaulted and couldn’t even defend him/herself.
There’s more to it than you’re willing to admit. 15 years is a long time for a first offense for “one inappropriate thing to a young child”. He must have raped the child, in which case he doesn’t deserve to ever get out of prison. If you were never molested as a child, you have no idea what it does to you. You don’t just ‘get over it’. I’m sorry you’re suffering but I’m even more sorry that that pitiful, helpless child had to suffer at the hands of your son.