No sex but placed on the registry anyway

I am a 61 year old man with three children who had a great marriage and a happy home. At the time of my “offense”, my daughter was 16 years old. In my state, that is the age of consent. I work outside and in the winter, I have a hard time dealing with the cold weather. One very cold day, I joked with my daughter and told her that when it got to be 80 degrees, I would drive her to school naked. Then, we got on the subject of nudism. To make a long story short, she saw me nude in our home. There was no sex of any kind, no touching, no  molestation, no nothing but being nude. Was that a terrible decision on my part, yes. Was it a criminal act, no. But when my wife found out, she went crazy. This was reported to DCFS who was not concerned. They dropped the case. They had to report it to the police who said, “we are not going to allow this kind of behavior.” In fact, they promised my wife that they would find something to charge me with. Since I really hadn’t broken any laws, they came up with Child Cruelty 1st degree. My daughter had a bad habit of self-harming by scratching at her arms until they would bleed. The detective saw the injuries on her arm and basically said that this incident caused her to accelerate her self-harming habit. I hired a lawyer who sucked and did nothing. I was told that if I went to trail and lost, I could face the rest of my life in jail. The DA wanted me on the registry and between the DA and my lawyer, they scared me into taking a plea, 10 years probation and be on the SOR. I didn’t know anything about the registry and was not told anything about it from my lawyer other than there were residency restrictions. Now, it is almost impossible to get a job other than menial work. Fortunately, I am self-employed but I recently applied for a job. I went through the interview and drug test and was told that I would get a call from HR to discuss my red flag on the background check. I was asked to explain what happened and did. A little later, I got a call saying they could not use me. Here’s my problem (other than all the typical problems of being on the registry), I didn’t commit any sex act. Nudity, although not appropriate in this case, is not sex. I would really like to find a lawyer who would want to file suit against the state for destroying my life by putting a non-sex offender on this damn registry. I have lost everything I loved. My wife is gone, my two sons are older and no longer live near me, I haven’t seen or spoken to my daughter for three years (condition of probation). I also lost all my money through the divorce my wife had to have, my home and everything else I owned because I violated my probation and was put in jail for 90 days. When I got out of jail, my landlord not only evicted me, put got a writ of possession and threw everything I owned in the garbage except what they could use.  I find myself alone, broke, and living in a house with two roommates I don’t know. I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have been in a couple of mental hospitals three times because of suicidal ideation. I feel like I have nothing to live for and now that my kids are grown, they no longer need me. This registry is an extreme form of punishment which destroys lives. I believe a murderer or drug lord has it easier than a sex offender. There are also too many non-sex offenders that are placed on the registry at the whim of prosecutors and judges. I have even heard that public urination is a sex offense (what guy had never gone in the bushes to take a leak). I am having a hard time seeing myself as a sex offender. The other problem with the registry is that if your on it, you are assumed to be a pedophile or a child molester and you are a danger to every child that you are around. If this is justice, let me go to Russia or North Korea.

7 Comments

  1. You know story’s like this can be bad even the circumstances surrounding them can also take its tow on someone. Its a shame that this man had to endure all this but it also tells us like one comment about skin. I myself don’t like a lot of this. Protecting and serving is one thing but family issues are another thing all together and as the ole saying goes loose lips sink ships someone is going to lose over all this. We can all learn and even law enforcement of how to handle situations.

  2. dave

    A good example of how uptight USA is with skin, and how if they want you they will get you even if you didn’t actually break the law.

  3. Jonny everyman

    While I am sorry this happened to you I feel you took no responsibility for what happened. Getting naked around a teenage daughter is problematic and against the law. If your daughter is as troubled as you say she is you shouldn’t have provoked her by being naked in front of her.

    • a mom

      Which kid hasn’t seen their parents naked in some form or circumstance? Being naked is natural and beautiful. Only in this country being naked is a sin and a crime.

      • PG

        It is illegal when prurient in nature, which it seems to have been. Still not something I would want to see someone punished indefinitely for through registry.

    • Maestro

      Jonny Everyman ,

      I had always got the impression from your comments on the homepage articles that you were quite the asshole. Now I know it for sure. 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *