originally posted 8/2/2009
I read your article online. Please let me tell you my story and see if you can help me in any way. Please keep my story confidential.
I was a high school teacher. In April of 2008, a “‘friend”‘ told a story about me that was false. However, because the boy who was named and his friend told a story, although different from hers, saying something happened, I was accused. I never told my side to anyone. The whole town believed in me, though. They still do, even though at the advice of my lawyer, I took a plea deal. That lawyer claimed teachers have no chance against juries anymore and so I took probation and having to register as a sex offender. I did this because I have 3 kids that mean the world to me. I felt they were more important than taking a chance on being sent to prison.
Let me give you a little background. I told the “‘friend”‘ that the boy hit on me; she agreed I should keep quiet. So I did, and four months later she told her story. I never told anyone what the boy really did. I was and am ashamed and feel totally like I am to blame. He did force me to perform an act on him, saying if I didn’t he would say that we had a relationship. I would never have jeopardized a career I worked so hard for! I know I should have gotten help but I suppressed it and acted like it didn’t happen. I can’t even stand thinking about it – it makes me sick.
I didn’t even admit to my boyfriend what happened until I took the plea deal. He says I lied to him. I know I did, but I couldn’t accept that it had actually happened. I wanted to believe some kid couldn’t have made me do such a thing. I feel too stupid! Now a 17 year old kid has ruined my life and I am a sex offender. I can’t get a job of any kind to support my children. I have to live with my parents again.
I used to believe all people who were convicted were guilty but I now believe in everyone’s likely innnocence. I used to believe in our legal system, but now I don’t. I don’t agree with the sex offender thing; murderers don’t carry a label. They can be next door and you have no idea, but people who get the label I have are labeled for life. Please tell me there are others out there like me. Am I a liar or do people suppress and deny things that happen, the way I did? Are there support groups or counseling for folks in my situation?
One does have the option of dispensing with jury trial, and have the case heard by a judge alone.
In complex and emotion-producing cases like this one appears to be, it may actually be better for a judge to try the case alone.
originally posted 2009
Well your first mistake was to take the plea deal, if you were innocent, it is well noted that some lawyers just want your money and in some cases do not care about their client. But that part is over and you must move on and work with what you have.
As for your third paragraph, some issues you must address , how can a 17 year old boy ruin your life? Did he hold a weapon to your head, if
not you were a willing part of the problem, and you do need to seek help on this issue. I am not attacking you on this, The sex-offender laws I
understand, as a mentor that works with families that have been affected �by them, �If I were not around people who life92s were affected by
the laws it would be very hard to understand how they feel. So I know your pain and what you are up against, it is very important not to get too
frustrated �or angry with the situation you are in, all offenders and their families feel this, so try and think of the positive to keep your mind off
the negative.
As for as suppressing or denying the actual event only you in time will know the truth! There are a lot of support groups around , depending on
which state you are from. Please try and take advantage of them in a positive aspect if you can, It will make a big change in your life!
I believe that there is a fundamental constitutional right to distinguish between first time non-violent sex offenders with no recidivist criminal
history and those sex offenders convicted of violent and serious crimes, or have been convicted as sexual violent predators. Get your family
involved with helping to change the laws, so when you pay your debt to society every one should have a second chance to rebuild their life92s
without being shamed for the rest of it.
Keep your head up and do not be afraid to ask for help, you are are not alone in this struggle!