Society Eats These People Alive!

originally posted 11/20/2009

My husband was convicted of 2nd degree sexual assault on a child in 2007.  She was the teenage daughter of our neighbors who we were very good friends with.   She was very promiscuous for her age and acted in a very provocative way toward the men around her … including her older brother and her own father.   I had always sensed that there was something going on with her. Being in the social work field she had many signs that she was sexually abused in her life in some way.

Our families spent many evenings together as well as weekends.   My husband was the neighborhood go-to-guy.   He would get out there and get the kids involved in playing sports.   He fixed things for everyone.   He was fun and helped the neighborhood with whatever was needed.

The neighbor girl grew very fond of my husband.   There was times she would hang all over him and he would nicely tell her to get away from him.   She had obsessive behaviors toward him. He would tell her when she displayed inappropriate behavior and of course she’d laugh and say she was only “kidding”.

One time he and she and her brothers and some neighbor kids were at the local swimming spot…she was jumping on my husband and trying to wrestle him…he kept pushing her away…she grabbed him…he made the huge mistake of grabbing her back!

He then became very concerned with her and avoided her.   She became upset. Long story short, she filed sexual assault charges on him.   Because he tried explaining what had happened during the investigation, the detectives twisted his stories and took what he was saying as confession.   My husband, never being in trouble with the law, did not know what to do other then “tell the truth”.   Unfortunately this only went against him.   The case became a “he said/she said”case.   Other then his admitting grabbing her…there was no proof of anything else.   Because she was a minor the court sided with her.   My husband was sentenced to 4 years in prison. When he gets out he will be registered for the rest of his life.

I agree that he was wrong to have grabbed her back.   Very stupid choice, but he is not a predator and he is not a “sex offender.”   This was one isolated incident…this was an extreme lack in judgment on his part but now he will be labeled for life.   The sex offenders registry does not differentiate between the child molester/rapist and the 19 year old who had sexual contact with his 15 year old girlfriend or the the man who made a mistake and lacked in his judgment for a moment ONE day in his life.

Society eats these people alive.   Any chance of living a normal life and trying to move forward is almost impossible.   The registry is supposed to protect the public from child molesters/rapists – but as it may help (in some case) it also puts the public in danger…

One Comment

  1. originally posted 2009

    I want so badly to be an advocate for those who are being treated
    unfairly especially when it comes to the Registered sex Offenders.
    I believe strongly that a there should be a differentiation between the ONE moment of stupidity to the man who lures the 8yr old into the public bathroom and forces him/her to have oral sex on him. �Definitely a difference. �(tale 00131) My husbands story comes with so many circumstances as well as a very troubled teenage girl!! �I hesitate to sign the list cause of pure fear! �I do not want trouble for my children or my husband. �I fear someone will recognize my name and the family of the girl will continue the threats they had when my husband was sentenced. �Please give me more info on this list…i have read true testimonies of situations like mine and WOW did those give me true comfort…I know now that I am not the only one!!! I am going to pray to our Lord and he will put it in my heart as to what I need to do…

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