originally posted 11/12/2011
When I was in treatment, I was lead to believe that things would be a lot better than they ended up being. While freedom definitely beats prison in any sort of contest, I would say that things are not so easy. My neighbors all look at me like I am the devil. Not one of them has ever said a word to me, and they usually don’t look at me either.
I can understand their fears, to some degree, because my crime was violent and involved a firearm. But the extent to which they shun me is something I did not expect. Call me silly, but I would have liked to have thought that we could wave and say hello once in a while, like neighbors do. I was never expecting to get an invitation to dinner, but I would like to at least live on friendly terms.
I am from a small town, so my crime was front page news. It really shocked me that a lot of people remembered after nine years of prison. I hate to sound like a coward, but sometimes I worry about my safety. I can only move towards whatever fate awaits me.
I would have told my neighbors, potential girlfriends, friends, etc. about my crime. I am not out to hurt anyone or to lie to anyone. But I would have at least liked the opportunity to prove that I am a changed man before people had already come to a rock solid conclusion that I am still that twenty year old angry kid.