This isn’t life

Back in 2004 I was accused by my brothers ex wife of touching my niece inappropriately on Halloween. Only issue with that is I was in jail for missing court in another county and was being held until I could be transported. September 22nd. Until November 19th. I was in jail.
My brother and his ex were in a pretty harsh custody dispute. She wanted to move to the other side of the country with the guy she had been having an affair with. My brother of course said no. So in order to get his parental rights taken away she claimed I had done this act and my brother was unfit to be a parent because somehow he allowed it to happen.
Backing up a bit though to explain some things. My old neighbor would sit for my brother when he was at work and he had the kids with him. She told me that one day my niece told her “mommy says uncle touched me”. The neighbor didn’t think anything of it but when the mother showed up to get the kids my niece repeated it and her mom gave her candy as a reward for saying it. This happened over and over for months until my niece was just saying “uncle touched me”. Only after that did my brother’s ex make the accusation.
Also I wasnt even living in the same area. I was living with a buddy and his parents. His dad’s a cop. When i went to visit my family i wasn’t ever alone with the kids. And the only place i was ever by myself in that house was in the basement where i had my musical and exercise equipment. Anytime one of the kids would even attempt to come downstairs they were told to go away because 1. My music stuff was expensive and 2. Weights can seriously hurt a child and I wasnt about to let that happen on my watch.
Fast forward to 04 when I had to have my chat with detectives. Ive never been in serious trouble before. Minor drinking mostly. A few traffic violations. Some violence but nothing to terrible. Needless to say I was terrified. I suffered my own severe physical abuse and sexual abuse when I was young. I’ve never been able to stand up for myself against authority figures, especially men, because of it. I always had to placate my abuser or face harsher punishments and still to this day I have an extremely hard time with being confident against adversity.
I was up against 3 detectives. 1 female and 2 Male detectives one of which was just a giant of a guy. For 4 hours they twisted everything I said until I was crying hysterically and had no idea what they were talking about. What I was talking about. Or even how we got to where we ended up. The 2 male detectives kept making remarks about how bad they were going to beat me if I didn’t say what they wanted me to. How they were going to make sure I was killed in prison. But that id be safe if I just agreed to sign their papers I could just leave and get help and itd be ok. Finally the giant guy backed me into the corner physically and told me that I was going to say what they wanted or i wasn’t walking out of there and i broke. I signed theyre made up scenarios even though, to reiterate, I was in jail at the time the offense was supposed to of happened. It almost felt like I was watching myself go through the motions of reading and signing what was written for me to say had happend and i was powerless to stop it.
Did almost a year in county. The public defender refused to talk to my witnesses. Refused to really do anything other than tell me I was screwed. I was refused any correspondence from my family and friends that were trying to show support and that they were trying to help. Then the public defender told me i had to plead guilty and get probation for 5 years or i was going to go to prison for 14 to 30 years. I took the plea.
It’s been about 16 years since I got released from county and I’ve been beaten. Shot at. Stabbed (thankfully it was just in the leg). Had been homeless for the better part of 2 years. Literally hunted by carloads of armed people that used to be friends. I’m now almost 39 and ive never had my own car. My own place to call home. Job after job falls through. The few possessions I do have fit comfortably in the single room I rent from a friend. Theres a mountain of evidence proving my innocence yet my life is wasted because I was too poor to hire a lawyer and to mentally unstable from abuse to properly defend myself. This isnt life. This is just the never ending purgatory before god or someone else decides to take my existence away.

  1. I been Dealing with a Plea-Deal in 1989. L&L…No REGISTRY in existence at the time. Over 30 years ago. On REGISTRY FOR LIFE in Florida. About to give up. What was the saying GO POSTAL? THE PUNISHMENT NEVER ENDS. I’M SCARED SOMEBODY IS GOING TO FORCE ME TO KILL THEM. I’M NOT GUILTY IS THE WORST PART.

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