originally posted 7/2012
A year after I was added to the registry, my wife gave me a new billfold. I didn’t understand; my billfold was not that old. She took my driver’s license and put it in the new wallet. The plastic window was smaller, and she pointed out, “Now you can’t see where the red letters state, ‘criminal sex offender.'” Hmm, I wonder if there’s a non criminal sex offender? I tried to fight the registry, even joined the ACLU, wrote letters and e mails, and was in the process of organizing a chapter to join in the fight. She was dead set against it. My wife has never even had a parking ticket. I think it was a shock to her when she found out the police and legal system are far from being the good guys…sadly she fears them now, and that’s a shame. Worse yet, she fears for me and will not accept what I want to do, fight them!
My offense was in 1981 — over 32 years ago. I am mad as hell after 23 years of shame, anger, fear and wondering what they will do next. It seems like they just make up new laws and rules daily. How can they punish me again and 32 years after the fact? Retroactive laws, ex post facto laws. They say it is not punishment therefore no laws were violated. Let’s see, I can not leave for 3 days or more without a pass and permission, I must pay 20 bucks every month. I must go to the county and the city and report and give pictures and fingerprints. I will never get to watch the grandkids’ football game. I can not move without permission, and they pass out posters to the neighborhood. I resigned from my church to avoid any shame. I worry constantly about some nut hurting my wife or destroying our property. After all, they posted my picture and crimes on the Internet. Then there’s a map that shows where I live and how to get to my house. There are over a hundred pages of new laws, and even with that each individual town, city, or county can and does make up more rules. The last one is a beauty: sex offenders cannot live within a hundred feet of another sex offender or under the same roof, nor can we live within 2000 ft of schools, parks, bus stops and on and on. I now ask how anyone can look me in the eye and tell me this is not punishment.
10 thoughts on “Sex Offender”
I was convicted of Indecent Exposure to an adult female in 1986 in California. No children, no contact, nothing. I did 4 months in county jail out of 6 for good behavior. Completed successful probation and counseling, etc., and went on with my life. I was never court ordered to register as a sex offender. I moved to Florida in 2006 20 years later. I was in a fairly new relationship with my girlfriend when she got a knock on the door. I was at work. They told her that I was a sex offender and did not register. Naturally to her shock and surprise, I had to explain that it happened 20 years prior. Even the women deputy told me that was just crazy and a waste of tax payers money and time being spent when they could be taking care of real criminals. Needless to say, the relationship went south. Now I have to live with this registry every day of my life. Can’t get a decent job and have to worry about being found out by a boss or fellow employee; one did and had the whole business in an uproar. After two years there I was let go even after being right up front with the general manager. It got back to the owners, and that’s when I lost my job. For what? No one was hurt, no children, not even verbal assault, and still you’d think I robbed a bank or something. Bigger crimes people have committed and they are able to hold down pretty much normal lives since they paid their price to society. We, the sex offenders, cannot “EVER” now. Laws change daily. Megan’s law came into effect after I was released, which does not matter to them. I can’t own a firearm, (not that I want to- its just unfair even if I wanted too) can’t vote, can’t live or attend anywhere there are children etc. Why? My crime did not involve any children AT ALL. I can’t live a normal life anymore. I’m now 50 years old, and this happened when I was 24 years old. We all make mistakes, but not everyone has to live with it each and every day. The public has no idea; they are not educated that there is a difference between “Sex Offenders” and “Sexual Predators.” This is where the hate crimes, and running people out of the neighbor hoods, or being looked at sideways by your fellow workers come from. You are automatically someone that molested someone’s child. There really needs to be a limit of statue. If you have not repeated or elevated your original offense after so many years, you should be able to move on with your life.
Yeah, I posted something yesterday that was pretty violent because I was angry about being harassed at work, and I think they deleted it–rightfully so because violence is not the answer. I would only have 9 months left. I haven’t been categorized yet, but from reading most of the comments on here, it’s not looking so good. I’m frustrated like everyone else. Just call me B.
It’s OK B; we all have those days, and what better place to vent where we are kind, caring, compassionate people.
Thanks, Matthew; I think it was mostly the sudden shock of the letter I received from the state police and struggling to find the answers to fix this problem. Thanks for the support, Matthew.
You’re very welcome Brian; glad to see ya join, and donated, and found the petition; I hope it works too. I am fearful that it won’t go anywhere, even if people sign anon…but we will see.
I will be following you beginning of March.
I am so angry my husband was convicted for multiple charges that have nothing to do with what happened in the courtroom. He was charged with a sex offense and the child was examined by a medical doctor and found NO evidence of any sexual abuse at all. Charges were dropped and then refiled and he was convicted of all the same charges and did 14 years and now we have to deal with all the layers of rules and shame over a lousy and broken and corrupt legal system.
Thats a really good question Elizabeth, society is making it tougher and tougher, it seems now a days, everyone is climbing on a soap box and shouting out stuff AND the one that screams the loudest gets things done…We had a guy coming out of prison locally here he was in his 60’s or 70’s and in very poor health, BUT they deemed him a sexually violent predator and when the people found out about him living next to them they went to the media and the news showed his house on TV and then the township enacted a ordinance, so that sex offenders could not live in the township… this is Pennsylvania..I dont know if the guy moved or died or what, AND this is what worries me now with this new system they are forcing upon us… BEFORE under the old system I was deemed a Sex offender…now with the Tier 3 system what do they call me now a Sexually violent Offender??? GOD I hope we fight this and WIN, and at the least go back to the way it was so I only have 2 more years to register…
Mathew, how do you only have 2 years to register? According to all the new laws it is lifetime for all offenders who are now magically tier 3. I need help to find out how to help fight this, too.
Hi, Penny I should of put in there that I only had 2 years left to register UNDER the old law..heres what i wrote “”BEFORE under the old system I was deemed a Sex offenderâ€¦now with the Tier 3 system what do they call me now a Sexually violent Offender??? GOD I hope we fight this and WIN, and at the least go back to the way it was so I only have 2 more years to register” under the old law.. 🙂 hope it makes sense now.
I ask HOW & WHERE people like us are supposed to live!!!