I was 19 and slept with a 13 girl at a party. I should’ve known she was underage but I was thinking with my penis. I was handsome, fresh out of boot camp, and extremely fit. For the first time in my life I had girls throwing themselves at me. I transfered stations and forgot all about it to 2 years later when I was questioned about it. I was charged and sentenced to 2 years.
Jail wasn’t that bad. I sobered up and realized how far I had fallen and that life as I knew it would be over. I learned how to weld and to speak Spanish. All in all it was a humbling expirence. I learned that i will have to scratch and claw my way to success. I have to work twice as hard for half the pay as my coworkers. But f*ck them and anyone who tries to hold you back.
People will not give you a first chance once they realize you’re a sex offender. There is no easy road unless you have family connections. Which in case you do have those most likely would’ve bought your freedom. Every single step of the way I have people kicking me in the nuts and stepping on my fingers.
If you have difficulty finding housing I’d go down to the welfare office especially if you have kids. In California there are a bunch of outreach programs that will help you and your family. I recommend getting an education. Either a certification for welding mechanic etc. Or a real world bachelor’s degree for example accounting or something in that nature. Becoming a nurse or a teacher is long gone. All that crap is gone. Be realistic when choosing your major because you won’t be able to get a job for the government, etc. You have to make yourself the best in the company where you are better then everyone else. You cannot be lazy because life is f*cked up and again you have to work harder and stay relevant or you’ll be first to get fired. Then start your own company that is the only way you’ll succeed and go into higher management.
Life is tough and now even tougher as a sex offender. But if you work hard enough and don’t give in to any of the bullshit, you’ll overcome it. Keep your guard up because as soon as you let it down someone will be there to take advantage. I just started my own company i make 6 figures and have one employee. I have been on the list for 11 years and have had to fight my way to where I’m at today. You can overcome anything and everything you just cannot give in to the difficulties of life as a sex offender. Focus on your day to day and making your life better.
4 thoughts on “The road ahead is dark and dreary”
Ah! You’re right. I made a mistake when I was writing it up. I should’ve sent you a copy to proof read first 😛 I’m still not sure what you mean by that counter example though. But at least this explains where I messed up! I’m going to go fix the article right now. Hopefully there aren’t too many more mistakes hiding in there!
I have been involved with the criminal justice system, or on the registry for the last 15 years for a crime I committed as a juvenile. I had consensual sexual contact with a relative that was 13 when I was 17. She told her friend, and her friend told her friends mom who called police.
The police questioned me and I admitted to everything immediately. I have not been convicted of any other crimes in my life except this one. Initially I got probation, but the Court unfairly revoked my probation when the PO filed a false violation report.
I successfully challenged on appeal some of their false violations, but I couldn’t disprove everything. My probation officer and the prosecutor made up violations to cover themselves because they knew they had a very weak case against me.
I was incarcerated for about 20 months, and was released about 8 years ago. I’m 32 now. I have had a lot of success in my life, despite being listed on the registry once I got away from the criminal justice system.
I am partners in a HVAC business. I have approximately 25 employees. I made about $150,000 this past year. I have a lot of good people in my life, and I have set my self up to be very successful in the future.
I attribute my success to working hard, and not buying to the idea that my life was over just because I was listed on the registry.
I am very satisfied with my life, and am proud that I have succeeded despite being listed on the registry.
Thanks for sharing this, i been a sex offender for 8 years, its one of the toughest labels to carry around with you in this life. i was 20 and she was 14, totally messed up on age, realized after the fact she was young. Theres many times i wonder if i should just put a gun to my face and kill myself being how difficult everything is… everything from getting a place to live to getting a crappy job. if it were not for family i would’ve been in some deep troubles or dead. i was always a good person. never got in trouble never bothered no one. now everywhere i go i have to worry somebody saw my face and sees me like a deprived sexual demon. reading your post here at least gives me hope that one day i could get myself a house and get myself a business to keep myself above water. i know i dont deserve this punishment and i did fuck up. but all this burden is too much… i know i deserve to suffer some since i messed up but this is way over the top. either way i cant change it but thank you at least for sharing and giving me some shred of hope!
Just remember, in Canada and most European countries, you would have not been charged! So, obviously it’s not that bad.