Me and my Mistakes

I’ve always felt hopeless, but this is insane. My problems began when I started using drugs at the age of 14 or 15. I smoked a lot of weed, and when I got to 16, I started using a lot of other drugs. Promethazine and Codeine, Xanax, Lorazepam, Acid,  Alcohol, Hyrdrocodone, Oxycodone, Dextramethamorphan, Adderal, Tobacco, Shrooms, I even went to school on a lot of these. I used these a lot more than the average teenager growing up in a middle class family. I’m also an extrovert with social anxiety, and never had many friends. When I say I never had many friends, I’m talking loneliness that makes you insane. I’m 17, and they were 13. I have two years probation, and a review for getting put on the registry. I’m honestly terrified. Suicide doesn’t sound so bad compared to being put on the registry. Yea, I know what I did was wrong. At the time, I didn’t care, but now, im just waiting for the day where I commit suicide, or live happily, atoning for my unmoral acts. Sex offenders are demonized. I don’t feel like a demon. I feel like a stupid kid still. I’m scared, I could probably write that more times than anyone would like, and I’m just a person pending for the registry…

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