Category: Personal Tales

By Matt The poem came to me in a rush during one of those darkest moments of despairs. From them, I gained strength to cope, to reach out to other registrants and step up to speak out against the tyranny. Brothers and Sisters in Pain What did I do to deserve a life of pain and fear?My motive rejected, judged my behavior a crime.Stunned at the devastating repercussions of my action.The act complete, my destiny sealed, my life shattered. The impact crushed my identity, an annihilation of my worth.The alarming, unreal raid, a SWAT team brandishing assault rifles.Or a startling summon to appear before a biased, hardened judge.My life ending, my family, friends, church condemning. My reality, years of painful isolation, penetrating shame.Alone, I mulled over and over again the “what ifs,” “if onlys”I despise their labeling me as leper, sinner … condemned.I even visualize the tattooed “Scarlet Letter” across my foreheads. After punishment ends, endless traumatic troubles begin.With no…

By J . . . We all carry captivity with us. Captivity isn’t a thing or a place its an internal culmination of experience. Its something that sticks to you. Its like a bad smell. Or a strong ink. From that first time when they grab you. You hear the cop breathe heavy. You hear that metal ratchet of the cuffs locking down. You can feel them bite into your skin and the officer tighten their grip on you. You can feel the anger as they walk you down the hall. That horrible clang as the doors slam shut behind you. That cold sick drop in your throat as you realize the other inmates will be waiting to figure out who you and that secret that makes your heart thump your chest cavity. That secret of who you are deep down. The things you did. That fear that painful fear sticks with you.The amount of despair and impatience you feel…

By Keif . . . I’ve been visiting this site off and on since not long after my conviction in 2013. I always thought about submitting my story but never did because I felt guilty that my journey hasn’t been as much of a struggle as others and it seemed unfair to share. I realize that guilt was just a fear of sharing that I needed to face and I truly believe we can learn something from everyone’s journey. I was charged with and plead guilty to two counts of second degree rape for an inappropriate relationship with a minor. I have three children and the victim was only a year older than my oldest child. I was (and still am) married to my high school sweetheart. I essentially had a mental breakdown due to what I found out later was untreated postpartum depression and PTSD. At the time I committed my crime, I hadn’t eaten proper food in two…

By Scott . . . Valentine’s Day. A day to show our love for those who are special to us. Not just our spouses and or the person we are dating, but also it is a time to show our friends that they are special to us. For me, Valentine’s Day has a double celebration. It happens to be my anniversary my wedding anniversary. We have a group of friends that we socialize with regularly. But there are six men, six friends, that I consider our core friends. These are people who know us pretty well and we know them pretty well. We’ve shared meals in each other homes, we’ve gone out to dinner with them, and we’ve gone to civic celebrations with them. ArtFest, October Fest, and other events. We also hang out at the “club” for Taco Tuesdays and Sunday Fun Day. Although, Bobbey and I don’t go as often as our other friends. For Valentine’s day, well…

By Jason . . . I’m writing this letter because I do care about the safety and welfare of children not spreading hate and fear and I believe no one is above the law. The information in this letter WILL educate and arm new parents on who is going to hurt your kid and expose an underground illegal entrapment sting that the police have been doing for decades. Please understand that I’m not against the police like everyone else. I think we need laws in society. I’m against police vigilantism and police assisted suicide which I was a victim of 20 years ago and still am today. I’m a 44 year old married man and yes, I am a level one sex offender because I did have a sexual encounter with a minor 20 years ago. I’m 100% wrong for taking advantage and understand there was no excuse for what I did, but there is an explanation. She was my…

By John . . . At the end of 14 years and part of 15, I had done some of what was done to me, having grown up in a domestically abusive house. My older siblings subjected me to it. It was all I knew or even thought normal, like it meant you were developing and growing up. I turned my own self in. I trusted the “system” and government. Even my parents now regret that ever happening, narcissists who shrug it off like “How could we know (that was going to happen)?”.The state ran tests through a local hospital, and what we would find out over a decade later, they withheld from me a congenital neurological defect that is extremely rare. The nurse came in and said “Oh, you just have a small harmless optic nerve cyst”. The neurological defect from birth, impossible to miss, is on the 4th ventricle of my brain stem. I knew as a teenager…

By Jacob . . . So when I was 23 I was arrested for encouraging child sex abuse 2 Class C felonies x3 for downloading under age porn they told me they been watching me for 2 years . I’m gay it wasn’t easy for me to say that back at that time living in a small town it was hard to deal with that and having no one to really talk to I relied on forms and chat rooms and other boys like myself that where close to my age I was around 18 when the internet open up my world. So at 23 I was arrested I did my time I did 8 months in county never went to prison never had any problems before or after I was out when I was in jail people started messing with me being my first time in the corrections system it was kinda crazy I seen all kinds of stuff…

By Jason C. . . . In 1999, I was convicted of several sexual offenses. At the time, I was 22 years old – still young, still making stupid decisions. My mother warned me time and again to change the course of what I was doing, but at that age, you swear you know everything, and believe you are invincible. However, my world came to an abrupt halt when I was arrested and thrown into prison. I was questioned by a detective, using scare tactics like, “They are going to throw you away,” “If you don’t tell me what I want to hear, I will spread the word that you are a sex offender, and those guys inside those prison walls will rape you and use you like you are just a piece of meat.” Of course, this scared me because I had never been in trouble before. Prior to my arrest, I had honorably served in the United States…

By Ayem…. I was sexually abused as a child by my older brother. He was always much bigger than me, even though we were only 2 years apart. Without going into detail, he pretty much made my life a living hell for 18 years. I couldn’t do anything in the house without pissing him off or pissing my parents off for pissing him off. I left our family home at 18 to attend college while he was locked up in prison for a string of burglaries he committed, moving to a family-owned apartment. I wanted nothing more than to get as far away as I could from the monster in my house. Once I had sex for the first time with a female, it was like the floodgates were opened my first winter in college. I flunked out of college due to 2 straight semesters of withdrawing. I was addicted to porn, to seeking encounters with young women, to going…

By Todd… I committed my crime back in 2014. I wont go into details about it but was not a physical act. I got out of prison November 2016. I applied for a job doing what I have done for majority of my adult life, which is working in the automotive industry. On my application there was no questions about previous criminal history so I did not have to put what I had done. Several months after I had been working at the shop and proved myself to the owner he did background checks on everyone. He never mentioned anything to me about it. He gave me the opportunity to manage the shop 8 months after I had started. Shortly after that he sold one of his other shops and brought all employee files to my shop to be kept secure. While putting them away I saw a big file for me so I looked through it and found lots…