Nothing Matters Except It Was On the Computer!

originally posted 04.10.2010 Iowa is a state that has made some sense to registration after release realizing that no contact, computer offenses are not in the same class as contact offenses, but this wall will not stop anyone that is a predator from hurting a child or anyone else. My husband is awaiting sentencing for receipt of child porn from Limewire. He used keywords from legal porn, and the government had two days of downloads within a two week period and now want to lock him up for 13 years.  Nothing matters in the end except that it was on the computer.

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I Live in a Sex Offender Refugee Camp

originally posted 10/1/2010 I live in, for lack of better terminology, a sex offender refugee camp in Florida.   Unfortunately, I see little hope in the changing of sex offender laws in the US.   Politicians and law enforcement know the laws don’t work, but going against them doesn’t help with votes or popularity.   The fact that the large majority of sex offenders are first time offenders, or at least first time being charged with a sex offense, negates any benefit of current sex offender legislation.   Education is the only true form of prevention in any society, however, society must first put down their pitchforks and propaganda, and seek out truth over popularity.   I am grateful for your group and the uphill struggle that is before you.    At least it is a ray of hope in my dismal existence since becoming a sex offender at 19.

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Interviews With Convicted Sex Offenders

originally posted 9/26/2010 Interviews with four convicted sexual predators By lmmartin The rape of the innocents — child sex abuse For 30 years I worked in child protection.   It became a driving force of my life.   Today I share a small part of this experience. The Decision In all my years in child protection work, I never once had the opportunity  to question or even speak to a perpetrator.  My job was to connect with the victim, to gain trust, to listen, to report, to protect, and by the time I’d succeeded at that, my feelings for the offender were such … well, let’s just say I wouldn’t have been pleasant. Some years have passed since that chapter of my life, and I decided the time had come to look at the problem from the other side, from the offender’s side. I had a long list of questions overdue for answers. To do that, I had to meet some…

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I Live in Solitude, Don’t Feel Human

originally posted 9/26/2010 I am a 48 year old sex offender and it’s been 15 years since I offended.   I live in solitude because I don’t feel like I’m an equal; human like everyone else.   I raised three step children to be fine adults with good family values.   I don’t make friends because I know how people feel about sex offenders, I hear people make comments about sex offenders.  I know there are people who need to be monitored because they keep doing it, but I learned that I made a real bad decision.   I would like the chance to help and maybe prevent it from ever happening again to anyone.   I have to register every 90 days and every time I get the same feeling inside me, it takes away my dignity and self respect.

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It Never Ends! Scarlet Letter Everywhere We Go!

originally posted 9/14/2010 Again I find myself in litigation.   Getting visits from Child Protective Services and my ex trying to get juvenile records unsealed.   The truth is that it never ends.   If you associate with someone on a registry, you will find that you will be facing a constant struggle to live your life with peace.   Peace is so hard to come by, especially when you are posted on a computer age arena with your face plastered for everyone to see.   We are here to serve one purpose, to make everyone that has been lucky enough to not be on such a web site to feel better about themselves.   Some how I must be a bad parent because I have associated with a labeled “sex offender”. The truth is that he was a rape victim.   And the tables had turned with a minor telling her story………….a total story of events that nobody can…

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One Tin Soilder

originally 9/13/2010 My birthday just came up this month, do I celebrate…no!  NOW it only means I crawl with my tail between my legs to the county sheriff and the city police department to have a mug shot and be fingerprinted.   Then in six months I do it again or go to prison!  For the third time in a row the city police tell me I have to go to the state troopers’ office and have “SEX OFFENDER” put on my drivers’ license.  The state where I live requires that as of about two years ago.  Nice when you have to cash a check or rent a movie or a hundred other things.  A few years ago, the police came to notify me I had to register or go back to prison.  I stupidly told them MY eight and 1/2 years in prison , as well as my release from parole, was before that registry law was passed.   I knew they could not…

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Abuse Leads to More Abuse

originally posted 9/11/2010 My father was very violent to me and my older brother.   We used sex with each other to cope with a bad situation.   We survived.   When I saw my younger brother being beaten I used the only coping skill I had, sex.   It was wrong, but it worked.   We are all alive.   I sought help and the counselor filed a report with CPS.   I spent five years in prison and have to register for life every 90 days.   I grew up in incest and continued that cycle.   I will never hurt anyone ever again.

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At What Point do SOs Get to be Society Members?

originally posted 9/11/2010 At what point do we (sex offenders) get to be members of our society again?  As for me, I’m told, never!  I committed my crime.  I went to prison.  I spent three and a half years in therapy to figure out “How did I get here?” while in prison, then two more years while on parole.  (I found out).   It does not seem to matter to the government.  It does to me.   I have changed my way of thinking about myself, my family, my friends and people I don’t even know. The government has said that we (sex offenders) can’t be helped. That’s a lie! It’s up to each individual to want to change.   It’s up to the government to step up and take responsibility for the laws they have made about sex offenders.

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Victim of a Broken System

originally posted 9/10/2010 My son is a victim of a broken system. His story is very similar to the ones on this site.   He had just turned 18 and she was one month from being 15.  There was only a four year age difference for three  months.  He was a senior and she was a freshman.   A cop walked up on them having consensual sex and he was arrested.  Her mother thought a lot of my son and was in his corner and refused to cooperate with the commonwealth attorney.   It didn’t matter, even with her taking the stand in my son’s defense, the judge still found him guilty. Six months jail and three years probation and god knows how much money for classes, the content of which I  found very disturbing.   He was being made to feel he was a freak for having sex with his girlfriend.  Thank you for this effort to change these harmful laws.

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Hate Flyers Distributed Against S.O.s

originally posted 9/6/2010 This morning we came from church to find a flier on our porch with our son’s picture and a warning of his past crime.   This happened 15 years ago.   He paid for his offense and has lived an exemplary life since then.   Not as much as a parking ticket in all of those years.   He now is married with children.   He suffers from two incurable diseases.   Months are spent in the hospital, sometimes paralyzed, sometimes blind.   His time at home is treasured by his little family.   Will this hurt him, his wife and us, his aging parents?  Yes, but not as much as the children.   Tomorrow they will face the taunts of their playmates.   They were just infants when he was gone.  Those who are sending out the fliers may say that they are protecting children.  What about the abuse to our grandchildren? Any suggestions?

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