I am currently a 25 year old male registrant of the Sex Offender list. I was charged in 2009 when I was 21 with a Class C Misdemeanor of Child Molestation for having a relationship with someone who was 16 years old. We met through work and had dated for several months. After meeting her family, everything seemed fine until one day things suddenly turned upside down. I was originally accused of rape, but the doctor the parents took their daughter to said there was no evidence of sex at all. Her parents, not being too happy with this, still wouldn’t let up, and this led to the courts filing the charges of the misdemeanor.
2012 and court was finally settled. I was given shock time and two years of probation, which I have no problems with. I did do something I shouldn’t have by having a relationship with her, and I accept those consequences. But what I don’t like about it at all is having to register as an S.O. and basically never having a job unless the company has neglected of performing a background check. I’m in no way condoning what I’ve done or what others have done, but to register with a misdemeanor is, in my honest opinion, seriously ridiculous because no hiring manager will look at the circumstances, just at the registry and make the call rejecting my application.
I can’t find work and can’t help to pay any bills. It just makes me feel even worse than I already do by not being to support myself or my loved ones and must rely on others.
6 thoughts on “Non-Felon Register”
I know this is a old thread but I just came across it. What’s crazy is that your exact same story is my same situation!!! From the charge, to how we met, etc etc. What sucks is that because you don’t have to register in that state doesn’t mean the same for others. I didn’t have to register either. But then I moved to Texas! After a year or so I was arrested and given a felony. Turning my non felony case into a felony, and making me register for life. My advise to any one…. Don’t move to Texas!
If more people understood that this is the average sex offender instead of the pedophile/ predator stereotype that the media and politicians sell, we could actually make some progress in turning public opinion against these draconian and unConstitutional laws. THESE are the cases that lawyers need to champion, not so and so who molested a 7 year old who now has to register longer. Nobody cares when a shark gets caught in the net,but you show them how many dolphins are dying and people will want to see the nets updated…bad metaphor, but you get the point. Cases where the RSO victimized a little kid get upheld because the justices say, “well, there’s a public safety interest.” We need more cases, like the one the US Supreme Court is about to hear, that shows that the punishment, excuse me, ‘civil measure’ does not fit the crime and that there is not a significant benefit to public safety to justify lumping everyone together. We will never get good results taking bad cases to the courts.
I’m in a very similar boat and hope that things work out for you…I remember those days of not being able to even get a job at a burger place and doing day labor. You already know your back is against the wall and you need to work harder than everyone else when you get the opportunity. You need to make the most of the few opportunities that you can get and even let people know what’s up at the right time, if that’s even possible. Most people think there’s a profound difference between a ‘dirty old man’ and a ‘dumb old boy.’ You can even start your into as, “Have you ever seen the movie Old School?” I don’t know anyone who stormed out of the theater outraged that Luke Wilson didn’t have to register for life, was able to date a lady with a child, or attend school. Everyone hates ‘sex offenders,’ but many people will give you one chance to show them you’re not just a label. Keep your head up, and even though it’s probably not going to get better before it gets worse, some business and some woman may recognize you as a diamond in the rough and take a chance on you…it happenned for me and I believe there is hope for you too. Stay straight and always remember to be appreciative of all who helped you at your lowest point. Please invest in yourself and read ‘How to win Friends and Influence People’ and ‘Think and Grow Rich.’ These are classics that should be required reading material for the human race, but luckily for us they’re not, so you can get a huge advantage from them
If you are not on the webpage then the employer will not find out. Don’t worry too much about your jobs unless of course you wanted to be a doctor or a nurse or teacher or something, but for most people your scenario is no big deal, and by the way it should not be a crime unless a crime is involved, and consensual sex with a 16 year old is not really a crime; it is just illegal.
How would employers know that you are on the SOR? If you are not on Megan’s Law webpage then no one will tell them. These statutory cases like yours, in my experience, carry no negative stigma per se. I would not worry so much about it.
In most of the world what you did is perfectly legal as 16 is the age of consent and rightly so I might add. You just have the misfortune of being born in a sexually repressed Christian country.
You are not the only one to suffer and have their lives effectively ruined by those in power who have done much much worse to get where they are the majority of the time. Hang in there!
It is hard and I will tell you it is possible to get a job; I’ve had 4 jobs after I got out of prison, and none was worried about my status. And I was never let go; I got laid off with 20 other people, and some I just quit as I didn’t like the job. So keep the faith; it will work out.