Month: December 2012

originally posted 10/24/2010 I am struggling with my complete inability to help my son, who pled guilty to Continuous Sexual Abuse of a Child Under 12 and Dangerous Crimes Against a Child last January.   He is serving 16.5 years in a stinking, sweat-house prison.   No parole, no time off for good behavior and lifetime SO registry.   My state doesn’t even pretend to offer rehab of any kind to any inmate.   He is getting 2 meals a day, one a sack meal. I am the child of a lifelong child molester.   I educated my kids thoroughly about my dad & his predilections ~ and yet this happened. I have no one to talk to.   My mother retreats into martyrdom and stoic silence.   Everyone else just says we have to wait and let my son’s sentence run its course, then we’ll help.   But I’m 55.   I may not live to see him free.   Every sense…

originally posted 10/24/2010 I am the father of two wonderful daughters and the husband of the best woman in the world.  I have been convicted of child molesting.  Our family had a babysitter who started using drugs and drinking and smoking cigarettes, so my wife and I decided to let her go.   She then went to the police with allegations that I grabbed her breast over the top of her clothes with the intent to sexually gratify myself.   After two hours of questioning the detective told me the he would draft up the papers and pass them to the DA to see if charges should be filed.   Five months later, ten police officers showed up at my work and handcuffed me.   I bailed and hired a lawyer.   He told me the DA here likes the spaghetti theory which is toss it at the wall and see if it sticks.   The judge told me if…

originally posted 10/21/2010 I am still going through all of the various links on the RSOL website and am feeling more and more empowered with each section that I read.  I am a registered sex offender and can say that the time I spent in corrections and therapy was all time well spent and of immeasurable benefit to me as a person in general, I grew very much from the experience.  Having said that, I find the registry accomplishes exactly the opposite by stunting social development and regressing all the progress gained from counseling.  I live in constant fear of being ousted by business associates (I have in fact lost business due to my being on the registry) or friends or other people who have no business knowing my record before I feel comfortable telling them, if I choose to share it with them at all.  It is very dehumanizing and instills a deep sense of shame.  It has affected…

originally posted 10/19/2010 When my son was sentenced,  I was his defense.  His court appointed attorney slept through it. Another attorney came in and said to plead guilty or he would get triple the fine–a no win situation.  I explained the situation to the judge:  How the family had accepted the relationship until my son quit managing their business, how the family had had our son over for dinner and let the girl come over here at night.   The judge looked disgusted at the stepfather sitting there but said his hands were tied.   The girl apologized for her stepfather but it was out of her hands.  They never had sex but messed around pretty good.   He left this town because it is a small town and the newspaper reported like he was a number one criminal.  We know that was not good but it was a coping mechanism. Our son is now in jail in another state,…

originally posted 10/8/2010 I would like to discuss our SEX OFFENDER Registry with you.  Please hear me out.  I am a wife of a Sex Offender and I want to tell my story.  I married my husband in 2003, he came from a very good family, his dad and brother are ministers, his other brother is a lawyer and his sister is an engineer. My husband retired from the United States Navy in 1995. We had a good life.  I am not sure when this problem arose but in 2009, my son found a camera at the end of my in-home tanning bed and turned it over to the police.  That brings us to present day nightmare:  On the hard drive the investigation found six videos of two girls (at the time they would have been 15 years old ) the deleted videos from back in 2008 were all that was found on the hard drive. My husband was arrested…

originally posted 04.10.2010 I have never been in trouble with the law until now; I have had a clean record and now I will be labeled as a registered sex offender.   I make one mistake, the county of Hanover gives me probation and I am on some stupid list for the rest of my life unless someone can get it expunged. Plus I was diagnosed with Asberger’s.   The law needs to be changed so lowest class sex offenders do not go to jail or serve probation or be put on the stupid piece of garbage list.   They should be able to travel out of state without permission and leave the country as well.   I could see not letting violent offenders do that but I am not one of them; in fact I am not one at all…………………………..

originally posted 04.10.2010 Iowa is a state that has made some sense to registration after release realizing that no contact, computer offenses are not in the same class as contact offenses, but this wall will not stop anyone that is a predator from hurting a child or anyone else. My husband is awaiting sentencing for receipt of child porn from Limewire. He used keywords from legal porn, and the government had two days of downloads within a two week period and now want to lock him up for 13 years.  Nothing matters in the end except that it was on the computer.

originally posted 10/1/2010 I live in, for lack of better terminology, a sex offender refugee camp in Florida.   Unfortunately, I see little hope in the changing of sex offender laws in the US.   Politicians and law enforcement know the laws don’t work, but going against them doesn’t help with votes or popularity.   The fact that the large majority of sex offenders are first time offenders, or at least first time being charged with a sex offense, negates any benefit of current sex offender legislation.   Education is the only true form of prevention in any society, however, society must first put down their pitchforks and propaganda, and seek out truth over popularity.   I am grateful for your group and the uphill struggle that is before you.    At least it is a ray of hope in my dismal existence since becoming a sex offender at 19.

originally posted 9/26/2010 Interviews with four convicted sexual predators By lmmartin The rape of the innocents — child sex abuse For 30 years I worked in child protection.   It became a driving force of my life.   Today I share a small part of this experience. The Decision In all my years in child protection work, I never once had the opportunity  to question or even speak to a perpetrator.  My job was to connect with the victim, to gain trust, to listen, to report, to protect, and by the time I’d succeeded at that, my feelings for the offender were such … well, let’s just say I wouldn’t have been pleasant. Some years have passed since that chapter of my life, and I decided the time had come to look at the problem from the other side, from the offender’s side. I had a long list of questions overdue for answers. To do that, I had to meet some…

originally posted 9/26/2010 I am a 48 year old sex offender and it’s been 15 years since I offended.   I live in solitude because I don’t feel like I’m an equal; human like everyone else.   I raised three step children to be fine adults with good family values.   I don’t make friends because I know how people feel about sex offenders, I hear people make comments about sex offenders.  I know there are people who need to be monitored because they keep doing it, but I learned that I made a real bad decision.   I would like the chance to help and maybe prevent it from ever happening again to anyone.   I have to register every 90 days and every time I get the same feeling inside me, it takes away my dignity and self respect.